Now, I know that it's only August, but Opry done taught me to be gracious and appreciate what I have, even if I cannot afford to buy $600 sheets, $900 shoes, and $300 pajamas.
So to balance my karma just a bit, I'd like to say that I am thankful for...
- Plastic tuh-keel-ya bottles.
Cause sometimes things get a little rowdy. - Extra-large sized spatulas.
Cause the weenie-ass size don't have the same range of applicay-shun. - Dominoes.
The game, not the pizza, cause whipping someone's butt at 42 keeps your mind off how many adult beverages you've been consuming. - Sinus medicine.
Cause it stops the drip and helps you wake up bright and refreshed on Sunday morning. - Bumpus.
Cause he's a good man.
I'm also thankful for Cat Crap and Yo Mama, for making me laugh so much and for inspiring me to loosen up a little bit and let go of those Camelite morals that I have kept me so quiet, shy, and living in a dark, dark closet, unable to have fun for all these long long years.
4 comments:
What in da hell is Elton John doing in Franklin, Texas? I'm a plenty pissed that I didn't get invited to THAT party!!!
Yo Mama is mitely re-leaved to git a kloser look at that piktur cause at 1st I B thinkin U wuz collectin gas frum Bumbut 2 put N-2 storage 4 when Boudreaux and Rufus start a-drivin cars, PTL, Lord Save Us, Bahia Bahia. Thet day is a-comin an Yo Mama is just flat skered, specialy when that yung one gits his fists on a real wheel. Whatever U gonna do!
Got to digest the resta this a.m. mail, was jes on the edge of a-callin Cat-crap and asking if U wuz o.k. cause aint herd from U as of late but this mornin led me 2 believe U been busy dressin up and a-taking piktures of each other.
Yo Mama needs U 2 keep in close touchin.
The more I be looking at this there pick-shure, I be thinkin' that Bumpus is shore lookin like he be in the middle of some rectal examination and that he be chewin on the apple to stifle the pain - with the tequila on hand just in case the hurtin' get REAL bad. Meanwhile, Fatty be lookin like she got on a big protective mask just in case sumthin nasty be shootin out o' Bumpus' butt.
bee-dee-deep-bee-dee-deep-bee-dee-deep...
*****NEWSFLASH******
THAT AIN'T BUMPUS
Tha's anuthah mahn.
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