Saturday, August 20, 2005

I Got Issues and I Need to Vent

Another sore spot in my home is the amount of our gasoline bill. Between my poor mileage Ford Kid Wagon and Mike's Macho Red Machine that eats a gallon of gas a block, our gasoline bill is out of control. And just think, in 2 and 1/2 years we will have another gas guzzling member of our household (if I let her live that long). Why can't the same genius who invented mammogram machines invent a car that runs on FARTS??? Is this really too much to ask???? We can harness the energy from the sun, we can harness the energy from the wind, why the heck can't we harness the energy from our backsides and put that all that hot air to work? I think that tomorrow I will put in a call to Hillary and in a couple of years when she dons her royal robes and become our first She-Bitch President, maybe she can work on this issue. Her people like all that new age energy bullshit - let's give them a chance to put their actions where their fat and obnoxious mouths are. And on the subject of those sad sack politicans who think they are capable of running our morally bankrupt society - I think that next summer we need to have a new edition of Big Brother. They could call it "Who's the Dumbest Politician". Let's lock a whole slew of them together in a house for 3 months and see how many of them can handle the mental strain. I GUARAN-TEE you the ratings would go through the roof. And instead of making them eat a peanut butter and jelly diet, I think they should eat nothing but brown rice and black beans. Maybe that would inspire them to solve my other dilema and invent a car that runs on human gas.

Bhai, Bhai, that's all I have to say about that.

1 comment:

yo mama said...

Cat-crap, Yo Mama has been a good bit d-layed in tellin it like I sees it cause I been ponderin. Been ponderin lotsa things and the mo things I got to ponder, the longer it take me to settle down.

Now, 1st of all I like lots ur idear for the new TV program of who be the dummest poly-tician and think U need to submit that 1 to 1 them TV uppity-ups who cums up with them shows. I fer one promise 2 watch faithfully.

Next, I got my beans a-cooking and ate 3 big bowls 4 lunch and will let U no what a-happens less it not B necessary cause U kan here it and smell it even at distance like SW. Yo Mama is wurkin on a master plan to can that smell that even Lucy do not like, she don't like that noise either. That or the vacuum clean machine send her a-running unner my bed.

Nother portant thing - aint no law sez jes cause sumbody turns the bday calendar they gits a car. U gree with that one? 'n does the city where you spend ur days 'n nites get kids to take drivin class 'n git a license to drive 1 them lectric-no-fuel carts? I B a-voting 4 that idear for sure. Iffin sumbody had a lectric-not-go-very-far vehicular then that sumbody sur cudent slip away to San Angelo or Dallas. Woodn't git 'em there. Cud be a cute thing, all lavender with sines 'n posters 'n bumper stickers 'n all. Wood git that sumbody to skool and Walmart, aint no plase else she need 2 be a-goin rite now n-e-way.

Final ponderin is: did U see the Oprey show recent re: Maria Schriver Schwartenzenneererabcdefg
'n her mama? I think U B no-in for sum time thet them K family people are mitely low on my list of approval, respect, intelligent, do-good, sorry, jerks. But I was a-doin my ironin and there they were. Now Oprey B a good persunal friend to that Mrs. Govenor, stayed in her home when they was yunger and all that. And I like Oprey a lot and think she do good. So that give some basis 4 my leaving them K relataives on the TV. My point bout all this was I B amazed that Mrs. Govnor no let none her kids have a tv, computer, phone in their room or cell phone. She jes laugh and laugh bout it an her gurl-kid bout 12 was a sitting with the watching crowd and sed it wuz all true. Mrs. Govnor's reson wuz that she needed to B hearin who them kids was a-talking to, what they wuz a saying, what tv trash they be watching and what wuz a-goin on in the computer. So, the whole famdamily hasta use the family machine and they has to share and wait in line 4 there turn.

How bout them apples! Mite be good threaten materials iffin a case shud arise. She makes 'em do chores 2, and make there beds, 'n iffin their clothes not up tidy n the kloset or in the laundry, but jes left alying about, Mrs. Gov grabs them duds and they goes n-2 a box what the less fortunate humans of the world end up gettin.
That gurl-child seys, rite ther on the national tv, that times is tougher at her house than any her friends got.

Whacca think? Yo Mama go back 2 her pondering and think sum more.