My goal for this week was to try to work on my cholesterol. I purchased special orange juice, special butter, ate a lot of fiber, took my vitamins, didn't eat any bloody burgers and what is my reward?????? GAS....LOTS OF GAS!!! My question is this....what good is it going to be if I live a few years longer because my cholesterol is lower if NO ONE WANTS TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME???????? I cannot wait to pose that question to Dr. Livesay when I make my annual pilgramage to the guru of gynocologists in the next couple of months. I will make a point to eat nothing but brown rice and black beans for the week before I bless him with my presence and I promise you that he will never complain about my cholesterol again.
That's my problem and I'm stickin to it....
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Cat-Crap U not lookin at this problem frum the proper per-spectiv cause U worryin bout sum nobody not a-wantin 2 B in the same room with U mite be a Good Thing stead of a Bad Thing. Settin alone at the table is not all bad, we desided that sum time ago. Now, as 4 ur little social problem, doncha remember Yo Mama had the same problem and solved it in the followin manner:
U simply go 2 ur nearest Macys or Dillards or wherever them high-clas rich ladies do they shoppin off the racks. Then you pretend 2 B a-looking at the clothes. Dont matter if it be sales rack or the new fall line of things. 'n then U jes Let Her Rip, get it all out 4 a few minutes. 'n then you turn arount and look reel dirty at who else B a-standin there, like U R mitely indignant bout their lack of couth. U jes pick up ur purse and things to try on and with ur Hed Held Hi U stomp away 'n go 2 the desk and ask 4 a trying-on room. U has got to member that U R a D-sendent of the portant W family frum th Red River Valley Plantation 'n aint nobody better 'n U!
When U R N the trying-on room U kin then Let Her Rip agin. 'n when U git ready to exit U peep out the door 2 B sure nobody awaiting on ur room, cause iffin sumbody, who is really a nobody, come in there rite behint U then they will no jes who the per-P-traitor is.
Yo Mama got to go C that Dr. L in September month and I sur dont wanna git there rite after U tell him bout ur personal problem cause he mite want to talk 2 me bout it and think it B a family inherited trait. I done learnt to solve my problem in the department stor way and U kan 2! Nother problem B thet that Dr. L mite want 2 call the G woman 'n chat bout her social problems and 1 of 2 things B happen. #1 He not ever git off phone or #2 G woman be so upset she have a bad spell.
Yo Mama need to B workin on my cho-lest-erol too. Think I put on a pot of them pintos tomorrow, WITH bacon, and see how it does me. Mite git to set alone in a room alone myself and that B good 2. Specially since Yo Mama kaint git her car out the drive due 2 some boss-of-the-world akeepin me pinned in at most N-convenindt times of the day 'n nite. Meybe it kause that other car 2 go sumwher so I kud S-cape.
Yo Mama B a-waitin by her puter, th modren mircle that keeping me n touch with my gurls.
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