The Very Au-dast-ityof it all!

I am hear 2 tell U that The Kaptain has overstepped his bounds and rites as The Self Proclaimed Supervisor With No Boundaries As To What Law He Mite Declare As The Rule Of This House On The Hill In The Western Hills.
Y.M. hates to git N-2 personal body function reports, but I must say first that at THIS house the little terlet near the kitchen is the arena of Y.M. x-cept she do share the shower on the occasion that T.K, desides he mite B N need of washing off.
This very a.m. I took to my private dumping grounds and, as I said I DO hate body function testimonials, but I did have "a time" whilst in my little private room. The issue N-volved excessive use of white paper which was dutifully put into The Bowl and the flusher flushed. Didn't all go down. So Y.M. went to the private area for dumpin assigned to T.K. and retrieved the plunger and dis-cretely snuck it through the house and put it to good use in the endangered plumbing facility. When nice klean water returned, Y.M. left the plunger there, a sittin in it to give it a good soaking in something clear of color and more sanitaree than the previous offering. I went on about my business. In bout an hour T.K. marched up and said I wuz not to use that inferior terlet N-E more when the facility in the other area was much more Modren, Dependable, Comfortable and Flushable. Then followed a lecture as to when to flush the first time, what 2-do next, then when to flush again and follow up proceedure. Now, I found myself speechless. Here I am at age 70 B-N told what terlet to use.
I got so steamed up that the temperature and humidity in this waterfront location, which I paid for, rose up to all time highs. PTL, and pardon me pls for bringing the Lord into this, but I will sit and dump where I please and it jest suits me finest if I am the onlee one asitting in there because I know at all times that the place is cleaner and more well kept than the local gas station facility, if you git my drift. Whew! Now may-B I can sleep tonite. Iffin T. K. don't watch his oral offerings, he may have 2 hit the road un-til he learns who is the boss of This House.The End.