Observation #6: Paint Winners Need Not Play
The only prize I have ever won (we're talking door prizes, raffles, etc.) in my whole, tragic life is a gallon of paint, won as a door prize at a baby or wedding shower when I was like 8 years old. At a recent event, the host declared "I have so many things to give away, that all but about three of you will win something!" Guess who didn't win? Because I didn't want to face the gruesome hell I'd get for coming to Las Vegas and not doing some gambling of some sort, I set aside $20 to play on the slot machines. My gambling spree on the penny and nickel slots lasted all of 22 minutes. I did get one glass of cheap white wine as part of the deal, but I asked for Chardonnay (dry) and got something nasty, watery, and sweet. People whose only claim to luck is winning a gallon of paint at 8 years old shouldn't count on any luck in the pit.
Observation #7: My Prize is Not Cooking or Cleaning for Three Days
Who the hell needs to win at gambling when she just spent three days without any cooking, clean, wiping snot noses or stinky butts, or being pecked to a slow death by chickens?
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