Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Country Come to Town:
Fatty Reports, Part 2

Observation #4: I Pooped Las Vegas
For as long as I remember, I have had no-poop-away-from-home disease. I can be gone from home for a week and not poop. You may be thinking this is a disgusting thing to discuss on a public blog, but if I have to sit through endless commercials of goofy aging Eddie Bauer men singing "Viva Viagra" and silly couples sitting in twin bathtubs atop a hill in the wine country celebrating their wee-ner meds, then the world can just deal with my crappy conversation with myself. I mean...how do twin claw-foot tubs on top of a hill at sunset indicate that the guy's ED medicine is working? How are you gonna get some action when you're sitting in separate tubs?
Shouldn't they be in one tub or no tub? Why not just show the empty tubs with clothes and towels left behind? Are they waiting for the 36-hour wee-ner window to open? Are they basking in the afterglow, with her secretly relieved that a 4-hour erection wasn't a side effect? I have never gotten that commercial...but I did get to poop Las Vegas (ha! I DID get back on track!). Apparently something in my brain thinks I am right at home in my high rise work nest. That, and the pintos and Raisin Bran Crunch (thank you YM and CC) have done their magic TWICE! Maybe I'll run down to the casino and sing a vivacious version of Viva Poop Vegas! JACK-POT! Yeeeeee-haw!

Observation #5: I am the Lamest Loser Ever
What the hell am I doing in Las Vegas by myself sitting in a room working and celebrating bowel movements?

2 comments:

yo mama said...

Y. M. goin into the citee 2-day to purchase yo Christmas Present Surprise ......... hopin you can wait til December. A little sumthin you can keep with yo self where-ever U B.

Cin said...

This post was hilarious! "Wee-ner"...LOL! I too have the no-poop-away-from-home disease.