Fatty Was a Southern Belle: Fried Pickles

Fatty, Jr. was here for a glorious three days of butt-sittin' and beer sippin'. The one thing she requested during her stay was to go to get some heavenly fried pickles from the restaurant about three blocks from my house. Who could deny anyone named Junior such a request?

So yesterday at 2:30 PM, I called to see what time they opened for dinner. The plan was to get two orders of fried pickles and bring them home as OR-DERVES to go with our cold beers. Of course, the plan did not work, because the restaurant is only open at random times when the owners feel like it. What does a good Fatty do? She takes matters into her own hands and gets out the skillet!

Fatty's Fried Pickles

1. Slice four polish pickles into rounds about 1/4" thick.
2. Lay in a single layer on a paper towel, to remove extra moisture.
3. Meanwhile (I love that word, as it implies gettin' into mischief while you are supposed to be doing something productive), put some flour--about 1 cup--in a bowl and add salt and pepper to taste.
4. In a second bowl, beat two eggs, then add salt, pepper, and about 2 tables spoons of half and half.
5. Dip 1/4 of the pickles into the egg mixture and toss to coat.
6. Move the slices from the egg mixture into the seasoned flour and dredge to coat.
7. Let them pickles sit in the flour while you heat about 2 inches of veggie oil on medium for about 10 minutes, until it's good and hot.
8. Drop them pickles carefully into that hot oil and let 'em fry 'til them boogers are golden brown.
9. Meanwhile, coat and dredge the next 1/4 of the slices and let 'em sit in the flour so it sets up, stickin' to 'em real good.
10. Sprinkle a little salt on the pickles when you take them out of the oil and let them drain on a paper towel for a few minutes...those suckers are HOT.

Makes two servings, which go just fine with four cold brs.
We don't talk about calories in my house, so just shut up about that part...but you can expect some bloating and gas later on.

THANK YOU YO MAMA, FOR RAISING ME RIGHT!