Monday, June 18, 2007

Fatty Ponders: Will Anyone Notice?

Fatty Jr. and I had a feel-o-soft-i-cul (can't spell after two glasses of cheap wine) discussion about being in our 30's, which for anyone who cares, is the new 20's! Ha! And Fatty Jr. mentioned that one thing she has started doing in her 30's is plucking her eyebrows...

Well, about once per decade I pluck my eyebrows, too, so I figgered it was time. This has no connection to the wine and actually happened two days ago. But before I endev-er-d on this monumentous occasion (I got a lotta upper eye hair), I pondered a little...

Last time I considered plucking, the lady that hides my grey told me, with much ath-or-tee in her voice: "Why pluck your eye brows? They are light blond, don't show anyway, and no one is going to notice."

DAMN THE EYE BROW GODS! Why did you give everyone else in my family nice dark brows and lashes but leave me looking like I am perpetually just waking up after a night of doing flaming doctor peppers with the university bus drivers?

Sorry, I got distracted by my own self pity...

But if Fatty, Jr. is plucking hers, then I better pluck mine. Luckily, I gots me some eye-brow-ripper-outer wax strips. No fuss, no muss, just a little cuss: slap it on, smooth it out, rip it off, give a shout, and smoooooooth on a little aloe vera.

But then, suddenly, just as you're getting in your plucking happy place: the damn strip sneaks over a spot you intended to keep in your finely shaped "eye frame" (thanks Cosmo Girl) and BAM! you have ripped off the end of your eye brow...like the last third of it.

That was two days ago, and no one has said anything yet...could this be the BLESSING of having blonde eye frames? Fatty ponders...

1 comment:

yo mama said...

Yo Mama re-kals well when her nearest and dearest bud was a-having a dance, sorta a western thing. We wuz about 16 and wuz very smart ourselves, sorta like Fatty. Friendly Fran started a plucking and plucked sum more then she had the good idear to just git that razor out, would go faster. It went so fast she had NO brows on one side. The dance wuz to start soon, so she jes shaved off the udder one and voila ! she had nun. Then she borryed her sisters eye pencil and drew sum good black brows. On-lee thing wuz, Friendly Fran was a blond. An blondes do have more fun. When she showed up at the barn danse no-body new whom she wuz. So, Fatty learn the lesson. Yo Mama has spoken.