Sunday, January 23, 2005

Holy, holy, holy: In Praise of Late Worship at St. Mattress

Nothing feels better than sleeping in your very own king-sized pillow-top bed after a night of roughing it in the driveway! I slept until 9 AM, had a lovely omlette with cheese and jalepenos, and then closed my eyes and went to home-church-in-my-head until 1 PM.

Whew! After all that worship, I need a trip to the Dairy Queen, the Texas Stop Sign, for some ice cream!

After that, we're headed to the local grocery store to oooh-ahhh over the new meat and cheese cold cases. The previous ones were about 40 years old, and I cried when they carted them away. Good bye, ye old pimento loaf and sal-mo-niller sandwiches!

PS: I LOVE EX-CLER-MAY-SHUN POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

creeser said...

Glory Be To Thee on the Mattress! I have a question for the leader of the Home Chuch in the Head Priestess......... If woman is subservient to man because she is made from Adam's rib, then where does that put man since he was made AFTER all the animals????? Put THAT ONE in your pipe and smoke it...... Can you tell that I have a "PURPOSE"??? I'm just not sure that Sweetwater is ready to hear what my "PURPOSE" is.

creeser said...

Perhaps St. Mattress should invest in a memory foam topper for its alter????????

Fatty said...

Home Church in the Head Prees-tess Says:

Perhaps God originally made man as an ongoing food source for the dogs and dinos. But then the whole damn plan went awry when woman came along and started to whoop man's ass into shape. Then man got a little smarter, turned the tables, and started eating the dogs and dinosaurs: b'hai, b'hai, tamales were born.

creeser said...

Hallie-lu-ya you have just solved one of the great mister-ees of the world High Preestess - u need ur own tv show!!