Gimme Them Little Shuckers,or as an alternate title,Yes, This Conversation Really Happened

Gratooo-eeetus Photo for Blog Posting: Deep Thoughts or Prepping for Poop?
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Number 3 gave me the gift of a lifetime: a hemi. No, not from Dr. Z but one of those located down south, associated with the work and pain in the *** of motherhood. Thankfully, it's an inside hemi, not an outside hemi. Until now, I didn't know there were different varieties of hemi. I guess I will count that, the fact that I was ignert of such things until this point, as a blessing as well.

So the doctor sends me to the pharmacy with a scribble on a piece of paper. I turn it in, wait an hour, and then return to pick it up. The lady who helps me at the pharmacy is about 45 years old, normal looking...whatever that means.

Pharmacy woman: "That will be $3.24."

Fatty: Hands over money in exchange for package of silver bullets. "Thank you."

PW: "Do you need the pharmacist to answer any questions?"

F, who doesn't ask questions about anything with the word "RECTUM" written on it in all caps: "No, I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

PW: "So, you know where to stick it?"

F: "I have a good idea of where."

PW: "Do you know to take the wrapper off?"

F, who by now has gotten over that tiny ounce of southern-girl restraint and lady-likeness that her Mother worked so hard to teach her: "Do I look like I'd try to eat a tamale with the shuck on it?"

PW: "Well, you'd be surprised by what some people will do."