When they invent a license for parenting, one that you have to earn before they let you make babies, one of the things that should be part of the test is letting the potential parent loose in a busy grocery store after a long day of work at 5:30 PM on a weekday about 3 days before public schools start with a limited budget and school supply lists for both 3rd and 5th grades, each written in 7 point, single spaced font. If the person can't complete the test by (1) getting everything (accurate products) on the list, (2) staying within the budget, and (3) finishing in less than 30 minutes, then that person should be sterilized.Fatty's Proclamation for August 2008: Anyone who is overwhelmed to the point of getting dizzy on the salad dressing aisle shouldn't be allowed to go school supply shopping (or have children).
Thankfully, I scooted through and made my babies before this test was instituted.
After spending over $70 on things like (this is just a sample)...
- 70 (yes, SEVEN-TEE) #2 pencils,
- 2 large pink erasers and 8 pencil top erasers (all for only one child?!?),
- zippered baggies (I was instructed to buy HEFTY or ZIPLOC ONLY but guess what? Those were over $3 per box, my gas bill last month was over $650, the store brand of baggies with zippers were $1 a box, so can you figure out what I bought?),
- two 2" binders that zip (hello? all they had was 1 3/4" binders that zip? is a quarter inch really that important? did a man write this list?),
- four packages of CRAYOLA brand markers, two big and two little, all for one child (again, the store brand was on sale for 50 cents each and the Crayola brand was $3.59 each...GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT?),
- and 3 four-ounce bottles of glue (again, for one child...why not just one larger size?),
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