Thursday, August 30, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Thank You Aunt ChocoFiberCookieSugarPack
for the Answer Me Jesus

I figgered this was as good a place as any to thank my sister for the belated birthday present. That's a link, so you can click on it if the spirit moves you.
Boudreaux has certainly taken to consulting with Jesus frequently. Yesterday morning, he apparently asked Jesus whether or not he might get to watch Star Wars Return of the Jedi later on that day. And apparently Jesus told him that it would be so, because when I asked Boudreaux and Rufus if they would like to watch a movie, Boudreaux replied "Well, of course, Jesus told me we would."
Because My Mem-ry Ain't Great...
I need to record this for posterior's sake.
We have a great family tradition of calling things by names other than those truly assigned to them. This all started with my blessed Yo Mama, who I remember called McDonalds "the Big Mac" ("Do you want to go to the Big Mac?") and who called poop "Chookie." Actually, this may harken back a generation even further, as the G-Woman 100 calls that place with the chicken sandwiches "Chick-a-fill." And of course, in good Texus style, naked is nekked.
Thankfully, I married into a family who does the same. Thus, my rabbit "Jordan" was called "Rex" and my precious Poo-Poo TuTu daughter will respond to "Goozie," "Magoo," "Sukie," and "Girlfriend." So in the spirit of my beloved sister, whose name continues to evolve with each visit to her home out there in Wild West Texus, I needed to record what we currently call her:
Aunt ChocoFiberCookieSugarPacket
Now I can look back, years from now, so that when we are calling her Aunt BuyMeSomeBeerAndSneakMeTheKeysToDadsCar, we can remember how it used to be in the olden days.
We have a great family tradition of calling things by names other than those truly assigned to them. This all started with my blessed Yo Mama, who I remember called McDonalds "the Big Mac" ("Do you want to go to the Big Mac?") and who called poop "Chookie." Actually, this may harken back a generation even further, as the G-Woman 100 calls that place with the chicken sandwiches "Chick-a-fill." And of course, in good Texus style, naked is nekked.
Thankfully, I married into a family who does the same. Thus, my rabbit "Jordan" was called "Rex" and my precious Poo-Poo TuTu daughter will respond to "Goozie," "Magoo," "Sukie," and "Girlfriend." So in the spirit of my beloved sister, whose name continues to evolve with each visit to her home out there in Wild West Texus, I needed to record what we currently call her:
Aunt ChocoFiberCookieSugarPacket
Now I can look back, years from now, so that when we are calling her Aunt BuyMeSomeBeerAndSneakMeTheKeysToDadsCar, we can remember how it used to be in the olden days.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Viva Charro!
Today I caught Goozie dancing along with the rhythm of the washing machine aj-ee-tater.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Bumpus and Fatty Figger It Out
Bumpus to Fatty: "I've got a plan for something."
Fatty to Bumpus: "You always have a plan. What about my plans?"
B: "Honey, you are not a planner. A planner is someone who makes a plan and then sticks to it. You, on the other hand, make a plan and then don't do the plan because you are too busy moving on to plan something else."
F: "That's right. You might be a mere planner, but I have evolved past that. I am a visionary."
HA! TAKE THAT! :P
Fatty to Bumpus: "You always have a plan. What about my plans?"
B: "Honey, you are not a planner. A planner is someone who makes a plan and then sticks to it. You, on the other hand, make a plan and then don't do the plan because you are too busy moving on to plan something else."
F: "That's right. You might be a mere planner, but I have evolved past that. I am a visionary."
HA! TAKE THAT! :P
Photo(s) for Yo Mama
Garden, Phases II and III (Sprouts!)

The photo above was actually taken about two weeks ago, but I hadn't had time to post it yet. While I took the kids to a birthday party, he tilled in the compost and made the rows.

And then last weekend, we planted seeds. We checked on them Monday evening, and still no action. Then Tuesday, we forgot to check because we were busy with many hours of short-people-soccer. So this morning, I meandered out onto the front porch, where they were in bright light but not direct sun (!), and holy cow: we got sprouts!
In this tray are...
- sunflowers,
- carving pumkins,
- spaghetti squash,
- yellow squash,
- zucchini squash,
- purple hull peas,
- green beans,
- corn,
- canteloup,
- and something else that I can't remember.
We've got eggplant, peppers, and tomatoes already planted, and asparagus and artichokes on the way a little later. We are actually on time for a fall garden. Whew! Come on over, Aunt Choc, and brang yer Bean-o!
Yo Mama, by the time you come visit, we might have something to show off! Instead of Curves, we got Weeds.
Mu Tau Kappa: Magoo Tappa Kegger

Aunt Choc, ring up those sisters in Austin! She be ready to attend in about 17 more years.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Wisdom of Rufus #806
Rufus to Fatty: "Who do we know that has cows?"
F: "Well, the Protectournamesbecauseweareinnocent family does."
R: "Do you think you could call them and ask them to let their cows out loose?"
F: "Well, that's dangerous for the cows and a lot of work to round them up, too."
R: "But they won't need to round them up."
F: "What are you talking about?"
R: "We need to let some cows out."
Fatty, who always takes the bait: "Why?"
R: "So we can party 'til the cows come home."
F: "Well, the Protectournamesbecauseweareinnocent family does."
R: "Do you think you could call them and ask them to let their cows out loose?"
F: "Well, that's dangerous for the cows and a lot of work to round them up, too."
R: "But they won't need to round them up."
F: "What are you talking about?"
R: "We need to let some cows out."
Fatty, who always takes the bait: "Why?"
R: "So we can party 'til the cows come home."
Negative Numbers: Check that One Off the List
Rufus had a birthday soire to attend last Sunday afternoon, including hors d'ourves, live entertainment, and a loverly Spiderman theme. The trip to the tete-a-tete took about 10 minutes. We have 2 miles of dirt road left to go, when Rufus announces:
"Well, I know about addition, subtraction, multiplication, and...what's that other one called?"
Boudreaux: "Division."
R: "So what's next? How about negative numbers? Ma, can yuh teach me about those?"
Fatty, who was very busy passing notes and skirting trouble in algebra or geometry or calculus or episcopals or whatever that class was way way back in the hazy days of hair bands and high school: "Uh, I think so."
R: "Well, I'm listening, to let's get started."
I do my best to explain what little I can remember. I can at least get through the addition and subtraction.
Half mile of dirt road left to go.
R: "Okay, I've got that down" (and I ask him a few +/- questions to confirm) "now let's move on to multiplication of negative numbers."
Quarter mile of dirt road to go.
I explain the basics (2 negatives multiplied = a positive, negative x positive = negative).
R: "Alright, hit me with a quiz." He passes through a few questions and gets them right.
One-tenth of a mile of dirt road to go.
R: "If we hurry, you can explain the division stuff now."
F: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (that last's for about 1/10th of a mile)...."too late! We're here!" (Fatty singing the praises of the fates who let her arrive before having to admit that she really has very little idea about division and negative numbers...)
If they had told me to listen because I might have to explain it to my six year old on the way down a dirt road to an East Texus birthday party, then I might have paid better attention...
"Well, I know about addition, subtraction, multiplication, and...what's that other one called?"
Boudreaux: "Division."
R: "So what's next? How about negative numbers? Ma, can yuh teach me about those?"
Fatty, who was very busy passing notes and skirting trouble in algebra or geometry or calculus or episcopals or whatever that class was way way back in the hazy days of hair bands and high school: "Uh, I think so."
R: "Well, I'm listening, to let's get started."
I do my best to explain what little I can remember. I can at least get through the addition and subtraction.
Half mile of dirt road left to go.
R: "Okay, I've got that down" (and I ask him a few +/- questions to confirm) "now let's move on to multiplication of negative numbers."
Quarter mile of dirt road to go.
I explain the basics (2 negatives multiplied = a positive, negative x positive = negative).
R: "Alright, hit me with a quiz." He passes through a few questions and gets them right.
One-tenth of a mile of dirt road to go.
R: "If we hurry, you can explain the division stuff now."
F: "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (that last's for about 1/10th of a mile)...."too late! We're here!" (Fatty singing the praises of the fates who let her arrive before having to admit that she really has very little idea about division and negative numbers...)
If they had told me to listen because I might have to explain it to my six year old on the way down a dirt road to an East Texus birthday party, then I might have paid better attention...
Monday, August 06, 2007
Quote of the Day:
Every time I see a taco I think of Nick and cry.
Yes, I am watching Big Brother 8 and following it on Morty'sTV (they cut the lurkers out of the live feed updates, damn elitists!). That is a quote from cry baby Amber, and I thought it just captured so many of life's struggles so nicely...
Every time I see a taco, I think of my fat ass and cry.
Every time I see a taco, I think of Cat Crap and cry.
Every time I see a taco, I think of my grey hair and cry.
I could go on and on and on...
Every time I see a taco, I think of my fat ass and cry.
Every time I see a taco, I think of Cat Crap and cry.
Every time I see a taco, I think of my grey hair and cry.
I could go on and on and on...
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Yo Mama Into New World Counseling
Whole New World Jes Open Up 4 Yo Mama I has jes met new frient named Mort Fertile who B sittin by day 'n nite jes awaiting 4 Yo Mama to peruse his listings of things thet cud B a troubling My Personal Marriage 'n I be busy 2-day and 2-morrow runnin my list by him 'n specially a-hoping he got some good books I kan Haiku. His advertising sez FIX YOUR MARRIAGE 'n it be An Alternative To Counseling ... Get Free Advise Immediately. He keeping shop at: MarriageMax.com Hoping 2 C U There but he maybe real bussie with Yo Mama 4 a bit. P.S. Not sharin with The Kaptain yet |
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Nannie Hart McClinton
Nannie Hart McClinton Watson
DEDICATED TO MY SISTA - MY INSPIRATION AND MY IDOL......
The Rappin’ Ballad of Harry Potter
Harry’s got a scar in the middle of his head,
He got it ‘cause his parents were both killed dead.
He was the only one that avoided the spell,
And now his life is doomed to be a livin’ hell.
He lived with his aunt and his uncle and his cuz,
But they hated his guts cuz of what he wuz.
He crib was a closet and he was treated like a slave,
But he sucked up his tears and tried to behave.
He was rescued from the closet by a very hairy guy,
Who told him he was magic and taught him to fly.
Harry was told he was goin’ to a school,
To learn to work his magic – he was gonna be cool!
He boarded the train to Hogwarts and then,
Met some great kids who would be his new friends.
He arrived at school and had to wear a hat,
That told him which dorm he’s be livin’ at.
Harry and his friends started learning their stuff,
While putting up with bullies who could kinda’ be rough.
Harry learned to play a game where he had to catch a ball,
While riding his broom without takin’ a fall.
All this time a really bad dude
Was spying on Harry and plannin’ his moves.
This was the same guy who had killed Harry’s folks,
And left the scar on Harry which wasn’t no joke.
Harry discovered that he and this dude,
Would have to fight a battle to settle the feud.
Only one could survive and that was the bummer,
Would Harry be the winner or were his days now numbered?
The day finally came for the stand-off to happin’,
Harry was the winner and there was plenty of clappin’.
He never had to worry about that bad dude again,
He could live his life with his woman and his friends.
THE END
Harry’s got a scar in the middle of his head,
He got it ‘cause his parents were both killed dead.
He was the only one that avoided the spell,
And now his life is doomed to be a livin’ hell.
He lived with his aunt and his uncle and his cuz,
But they hated his guts cuz of what he wuz.
He crib was a closet and he was treated like a slave,
But he sucked up his tears and tried to behave.
He was rescued from the closet by a very hairy guy,
Who told him he was magic and taught him to fly.
Harry was told he was goin’ to a school,
To learn to work his magic – he was gonna be cool!
He boarded the train to Hogwarts and then,
Met some great kids who would be his new friends.
He arrived at school and had to wear a hat,
That told him which dorm he’s be livin’ at.
Harry and his friends started learning their stuff,
While putting up with bullies who could kinda’ be rough.
Harry learned to play a game where he had to catch a ball,
While riding his broom without takin’ a fall.
All this time a really bad dude
Was spying on Harry and plannin’ his moves.
This was the same guy who had killed Harry’s folks,
And left the scar on Harry which wasn’t no joke.
Harry discovered that he and this dude,
Would have to fight a battle to settle the feud.
Only one could survive and that was the bummer,
Would Harry be the winner or were his days now numbered?
The day finally came for the stand-off to happin’,
Harry was the winner and there was plenty of clappin’.
He never had to worry about that bad dude again,
He could live his life with his woman and his friends.
THE END
Nannie Hart McClinton and Jo Hart Murphy
Are You My Mother?
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