The Wisdom of Rufus #428

Rufus:
"I know how to say the pledge of allegiance."

Fatty:
"Oh really? Well, you go right ahead."

Rufus:
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of George Bush!"

The Wisdom of Rufus #426, Parts A & B

Announced as we sat down to dinner this evening:

"We need less talking and more praying!"

Snapped two minutes later at his brother (who was, admittedly, pushing Rufus's buttons):

"Shut your dirty pie hole."

With varying degrees of hormonal influence, our family can turn on a dime!

Lucy sez it B time 2 jump ship 4 peace in TX

Lucy is in her bag, ready to roll .....
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

As U kan planely C, Lucy P. shares yo mama's need to escape and Go West. The Kaptin B pretty up-tite that we B leaving so the sooner the better. She sittin in her bag waitin for a zip up.

Yo Mama wishes she had a bag 2.

Future Pres/CEO of HJC Co as per her mother

would you buy a boat from this boat magnate?
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Here she is, in her $100 mini skirt with tummy views. Enough said.

Yo Mama is headin UR way ASAP

Let the Fat Lady SING!

Players
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Ain't they precious?

Wisdom of Rufus #422:

(Yelled from the Rufus in center field over the to right fielder who was complaining about being bored and not fielding any balls during the inning...)

"It's not about getting a bunch of ball action! It's all about playing the game and having fun. That's the spirit of baseball!"

All that he needed to do was add "you stupid domp!" on the end, and I would have been super-ultra proud.

I wuz even gonna let him use my mug

It don't take a genius ....
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Well it has hit the fan at this casa.
The Kaptin desided he wuz tired tired tired of solitaire and he wood play Yo Mama's privat game that I B hidin frum him and woodn let him C. Aint't that the s---s! N E Way, I done put Snood on his puter and got it free with my pass code and dialed up Easy-Children-Stage-1-Not-Hard. He went nuts, kaint make that little box go where it outta B, must be sumthin wrong with his puter cause it aint a Dell like mine.

Send help. Like meybe Jack? He dun taught The Kaptin to fish, meybe he cud give a few pointers bout this lil problem we got now.

All that and IRS Day at the same time, it jes B 2 much for one elderly woman.

Un huevo cada dia es muy bien

Things Ain't Always What They Seem
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yo Mama's EG does not contain choc as a sweet gift to Yo Mama. It got sum-thin better, not my percoset but N-sted it B peppermint schnapps. U think the Kaptain will wunder bout my sudden luv of eggs?

Yo Mama jes passin on the news of today

See Why I Should Be Drinking Beer?

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Cameltoe Bunderpanties?

I just checked our site meter, and we were "discovered" through people doing the following searches...

"Cameltoe Bunderpanties"
"Bugger Eaters" (AUNT CHOC's POST CAME IN FIRST PLACE! YEE-HAW!)
"Toot a lot" (Is that a reference to you, Mama?)
"Chubby Mama"
"Pictures with no pants on" (YIKES!)

Comments from the Incontinent Rednek

Food obsession for the week:
Watermelon

(Don't gasp...last week it was Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, so this is a major step forward.)

Latest Nickname for the Seamus, the New Cat:
"Hebbie," slang for "H.E.B.," since he has a Harry-ass Butt

Wisdom of Rufus #411:
(Screamed at me on the courthouse lawn as he was running by in a frenzy of egg collecting today...)
"MOTHER! THE CHOCOLATE INSIDE THE EGGS SYMBOLIZES GOD'S SWEET LOVE FOR YOU!"

Yes, he really calls me "Mother" instead of "Mama" right now. Yes, he used the word "symbolizes." Yes, other parents turned to beam at me with pride in my son's advanced brainwashing status. No, I did not yell "MIND YOUR OWN F'IN BA-HAI BUSINESS YE REDNEKS!" in response.

Dysoning Adventure for the Week:
Extracting 8 years of filth out of a Honda Accord, using that motorized hand-brush "Animal" thing in the process.

My neighbor came outside and said, "Awww...look at you with your late-pregnancy nesting instinct." Of course, she didn't understand when I muttered, "I'm just a Dysonite looking for something to suck."

Pet Peeve of the Week (and the coming weeks):
No one looks me in the eye when talking to me anymore. They look at my protruding fundus instead.

Honestly, on Monday FIVE people at my special school said good morning to me without looking at my face! I want to yell, "YES! WE DID IT AND WE DID IT A LOT!" but instead, I guess I will just feel like I know how Pamela Anderson feels, except with her, it's bodacious, inflated ta-ta's. Today at the Dollar Store, the lady who works there yelled (while looking me in the belly, not the eye), "How long have you been waddling like that? And why didn't I realize it sooner since you're in here all the time?" Good god, that was so much to address that I had a deer-in-the-headlights moment.

Hey Dolly Parton of the Sunshine State...did you stuff your bra for the party?

Hey Cat Crap...where's the dirt bag?