As a little background to this story, we had stopped at the Arches from Hell on the way to a basketball game at the special school. The AfH are in one of their modes where they ask if the little snot-nosed fatty who will be receiving the meal is a boy or girl. Well, we took stock of the situation, and I replied that, although they bear more resemblance to Laborador puppies, we did in fact have two human boy childrens in the vehicle.
Of course, we got one boy toy and one girl toy (some sort of mermaid doll...since all I know in my house is testosterone and neutered hounds from hell, I don't study these things). The elder dealt with the news of his mis-gender-identified toy well, and I told him that on the way home, if the AfH wasn't too busy, I would go back through the drive-around and trade it in. Case closed.
Now jump forward an hour to the basketball game.
The special school has a history of prefering big stinky boys in overalls to lead the yelling and has never actually had little stinky girls in obscenely short skirts shaking their coochies for entertainment during sporting events. But a few years ago a group of intrepid envelope pushers decided they would start a dance team to perform at the basketball games. They are cute girls and, I am sure, pure as the driven snow and they work hard at being like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerheffers for not much reward. About 6 out of the 2,000 in attendance clapped four times then the routine was over. In general, I feel sorry for them and try to be supportive, even though their shirts need to be about six inches longer.
Well, Boudreaux and Rufus, having only been to football and baseball games at the special school before, had never seen this hoo-rahing parade of jigglybits. This was a new experience for them.
Half way through the first performance, Rufus looks over at Boudreaux and yells (loud enough to be heard over the music):
"YOU NEED TO COME TO SCHOOL HERE AND GET YOU ONE OF THEM COLLEGE GIRLS SO YOU CAN GIVE HER THAT TOY OUT OF YOUR HAPPY MEAL."
Well, that idea wasn't popular since the junior hormones in my house are hyped up about gameboys and warped cartoons, not about girls. Boudreaux basically ignored him.
During the second high energy hip-shaking performance, Rufus was busily shoving fistfulls of peanut M&M's in his mouth when he suddenly paused and, looking sort of woosy, turned my direction.
"What's wrong?" I asked innocently.
At this point, he started laughing hysterically, mouth hanging wide open and looking like it was full of GARBAGE because of all those little candy pieces of various colors being mixed, half eaten, together in his gaping orafice.
"I'm embarrassed" was his reply.
"Why?" I asked, "Because you decided that the dancing girls are pretty?"
"Naw," he answered, "because I thought I was going to barf just watching them."
Whew! Yo Mama had sum concerts
ReplyDeletebout them boys and there focuses n life but now I no that Rufus won't be a-hookin up with one them girlie things that wiggles and grins. Good boy Rufus. U fine urself a girl with lotsa muney and smart too. That B far better. I B thinkin 2 that she mite B a better mama for yo babies, sorta like that mama you got.
Thats what Yo Mama thinks bout them girls who shake round at That Skool.
I am so glad that Rufus knows it is more important to stuff candy in his mouth than it is to watch some little hoes swish their booties around and around. You tell him that Aunt Choc is proud of him!!!
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