Dear Mimi Yo Mama,
Thank you for the huge wad of bills you sent me through the mail. First I tossed it in the air and let them flutter down around me like fall foliage. Then Mom neatened em up and I took several BIG WHIFFS just to know what it felt like to be flithy. Once I had come to see myself fully as The Donald of East Texus, we loaded up and rampaged through the Damn Fine Dollar Store. They had just gotten their Christmas haul of plastic loot, and I spent a full 30 minutes studying every pop gun, can of Play Doh, race track, and Ken doll.
In the end, it was a remote control monster truck that stole my heart and my stash. But never fear, at my age, this is the perfect training for NASCAR.
Love,
Rufus, the Big Oh-Five
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