In the infinite wisdom I have developed over almost seven lengthy years of motherhood, precious few truths have revealed themselves to me. One of them is that, once little boys turn about three years old, it's pretty smart to not walk around neck-ed in front of them, because they'll start asking all sorts of can-o-worm-opening questions about parts and hair and other things.
Since Rufus, the younger, is now four, I make it a habit to close the bathroom door when I shower. I cannot lock it, however, just in case one of the boys stabs the other one or sets fire to the dog or makes the toilet explode. I want to know the emergency vehicles and the aw-thor-ities are here.
So two days ago, Rufus comes busting into the bathroom while I was in the shower (glass door, thankfully steamed up). I gracefully turned so that all he was seeing was my lovely sideshot and all privates and R-rated areas were hidden, then I swiped a hand to clear the steam off the door at my eye level so I could make sure that he still had both eyes and all 12 fingers and to hear what his request might be. After I answered his question, he started to leave the bathroom but then stopped and turned back around.
He says to me, "Hey Mama..."
"What?"
"Show me yer boobies."
"Do what?!"
"I said 'Show me yer boobies."
"What are you talkin' about?"
"Come on, just one little peek."
I told the little pervert no thank you and to go on and get outta there. Later, I went to Bumpus, seeking sage advice on how set that boy right, how to raise up a freaky boobie-lovin' peekin' Tom Rufus up to be a nice smart gentleman, but Bumpus's response (of course, what else should I have expected?) was "That's my boy."
Things could be worse.....
ReplyDeleteI was relaying your highly amusing story to a friend tonight and she told me a story concering a neighbor and the neighbor's 4 or 5 year old daughter. The Mom in this story is about 4'8" tall and probably weighs about 85 pounds dripping wet. She was bathing her daughter one day and the daughter said:
Child: "Mama, when I grow up are my boobies going to grow"
Mom: "Yes, dear they are"
Child: "Are they going to be as big as Daddy's boobies"
Mom: "You can only hope so"
Although the father in this story is NOT big and fat (he is very tall), it only goes to show that at least Jack has good role models in the home that show him who really is supposed to wear the boobies in the house.
I highly advise you to not remind him that those boobies were at one time a food source - he might start requesting a sip next time he is thirsty.......
Child + Teeth = NO BOOBIE FOR YOU!
ReplyDeleteOkay, that story is even funnier. Your friend needs to start a blog!