
Looks like a picture card, don't it
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.
Sur is prettie mos ever nite at this plase, jes makes u wanna stay 4-ever.
Yo Mama duz luv them sunsets
"That's my philosophy: a hundred dollar shine and a three dollar pair of boots."
--John Winger (Bill Murray),Stripes
Sur is prettie mos ever nite at this plase, jes makes u wanna stay 4-ever.
Yo Mama duz luv them sunsets
A site to see, lotsa lites at this croquet camp. Sur is pretty ever nite. Guess tomorrey them folks b takin em all away.
Yo Mama likes these pretty lites.
Miss Lucy don't want no-body a-messin with her private presents. She gits em and runs with em til they runs out. What fun she did have with all that stuff. Had lotsa treats bagged up and she ate and ate til them was all gone.
She luvs to eat lots like Yo Mama duz.
Ain't this jes the mos dignifiet annie-mal you ever did c? She jes luves b-n
so b-u-tea-ful and all these folks here at the croquet palace sez they just never did c n-e-thing quite like it. Do U think they mite be stretchin
the truth a bit.
Yo Mama and her Papa luv her no matter what she mite be a-wearin.
A peaceful Christmas, wish you had all been right here with us. Yo Mama duz miss them chillens.
Las time Yo Mama checked it out, a word spelt n-o-o-d-l-e-s pertaint to sum stuff that mos folks eat in soup, often chicken. Now .... the kaptain said he wood eat sum noodle soup with chicky in it so I couldn't/woodn't git 2 enjoy it ALL BY MYSELF. So, I fixt the d--- stuff, even put sum chicky n it. So then he announced he NEVER eats soup with a sandwich. He wood have the soup first and then his hot grilled cheese sandwich. So we sits down to n-joy this epicurian delite and he seys, "what is this". Yo Mama tole him it b noodles soup with chicky n it. He seys theys NOT noodles. I thot I was a-hearin things. NOT NOODLES? I runned to the galley and did a quik read of the package and it sure did sey NOODLES. He seys they is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Why O why, I had the stupidity to ask. And he seys, "B-kause noodles is STRAIGHT and these things are CURLY. So they are NOT what you sed, NOODLES. We ate in silence and then I went bak down them stares and cooket that sandwich. Then I took sum advil and checket on my bar supply 4 the evening. Whew! Kan curly things b noodles? Taters kan b strate or curlie. Why kaint noodles? He seys he likes Lipton dried noodle soup cause them noodles are strate. Yo Mama is thinkin bout jes takin 2 my bed til the cuming hollerday is over.
Don't U think I shud? Then I kan git my foot fixed an have lotsa drugs to keep me happy 4 a while.
Bet U don't be a-knowin that we B the onlee dis-tinguished members of that plase where we go on the boat, shall remain un-named case n-e nosy members b a-readin blogs 2-nite, that gotta V-hickle lik thisson with jes 3 wheels. It B a real antique and proud of it. Jes got threw a-paintin and washin it and U jes shud see us aridin round the kampus. Gonna get a cover 4 it Sattiday 2 keep it klean, klean, klean.
If U cum 2 C Yo Mama we take UK 4 a ride U won't 4-git
Thot you wanna get a look at ur new relative in that north carolina state. His name b Cody and he be blind with them cataracts like Yo Mama got rid of. Bet Devil Dog luv him lik a brother, even tho he don't slobber. He be the sweetest and mos loving dog next to Lucy that I at the moment seem to be quainted with. He follows your voice so he nose where to go, and he sur kan find that dinner bowl.
Say hi to Yo Mama's new grand-doggie
I ben ahearin bout iguanas that whip their tales round and hit lil kids and doggies and this nastie guy sur nose how 2-do it. Lucy don't like him atall cause she kan run at him and bark and he jes gives her dirtie looks and whips that tale. Thisson came all the way up to the Kaptain's bak door while the Kaptain wuz a watchin t.v. and watched the kaptain a watchin t.v.
Whadda U think about Yo Mama's new pet?
Yessiree, Grandpa is a gettin old. U kan tel cause he gittin brown on the bodie. When he git mad, like when Yo Mama and Lucy run him off N-2 the water, he puffs up jes like a dinasore.
But he B smart, smarter than them lil ones that cum arount our place. Thisson nose to get the h--- out the way when Miss Lucy cums full speed to him, a-barking like an idiot.
Shud Yo Mama record the squawk Grandpa makes when he mad?
YES HE DID, my Kaptain held his own mongst them crazy kids, ex-wife, Yo Mama, the tatooed kid with long sleeves, 2 yr. old that eats only cookies, ice cream, cake and candy, a daughter in law on crutches, a daughter who is full of knowledge, her boyfriend from South America. Whole fam-damily was there and it wuz a glorious okashion with a-plenty to eat and lotsa dishes needin washin. Even got to eat sum stuff offa cardboard.
Yo Mama wisht 4 U 2 B there with herself.
Jes wanna let U girlies no that Yo Mama is a-sittin alone in the house, Hallaelujah The Kaptain and his boat drivin Friend by namma Frank left at 8:58 a.m. and will be a-driving that water trailer bout 5 hours. When they gits 1 1/2 hrs from there destination they B calling me and think I mite like 2 drive the car and the dog to the same place. I jes don no. Kinda wunderin how far I got git if I hed west n-stead be-4 they find me. Jes put the n-gines together 2 days ago. Wunder if they b workin out their in that ocean.
Sur is nice and quite here in this boarded up cave with the rat livin in the laundry room.
Seems the Kaptain had cut his hand in the going-away-process and jes didn't no how 2 handle it. Like what duz one need 2 know? How to open a bandaid? It was a challenge 4 sure. As the boat passed by he was jes a-hollering at Yo Mama at the top of his lungs, thot he needed a bandaid and did't no where they wuz or what 2 do.
Yo Mama is at her wits end
When times get tough, the tough do no how 2 git goin. Them folks at Southport jes got out their fish and shrimp and oysters and whatever else be decaying in that frigerator and set up some sorta pit out front and went rite on with there busyness. Probly the only place a-serving the day after Wilma came to call. Did my heart and soul good 2 see it all.
Sur thot I was in TX for a minite, or meybe even Mary-land, Yo Mama did.
Sum people jes smarter than other folks and my friend DL is among them smartest ones. He nose bout all there is 2 no about the great state nown as Mary-land. It weren't a buncha yankees a-tall, them wuz southerners. I new there wuz a good reason I liket 2 go there. N E way, DL gets all dressed up in this garb and U kan chose what walking tour U wanna go on.
He tells it like it is and U go home athinking U sorta smart 2. Aint't he a cute one? He also serves us that lst meal of the day at the B&B and even 1 time I kaught him aloading the dishwasher. Probably puts the garbage down the rite side of the sink too. Wunder if he gets dizzy?
Yo Mama wants 2 no iffin U want his phone number.
I think I jes finded my roots 4 sure.
I kan unnerstand what this article title all about and bet U kan too. Them folks in Mary-land sur do speak my linguistics. This wuz a featured feature in the plate glass winder of the Maryland State House. DL took me 2 see it and I wuz charmed, to B sure.
Are you charmed like Yo Mama?
Whilst a-strolling about with my new friend DL, we visited upon this flag in the Maryland State House ... kan U tell me what is wrong with it? Iffin U B the 1st one to notice, U will B the winner !!!!
Yo Mama didn't git it at first either, jes keep a-studying it or meybe ask 1 of your kids.
It has been one-hella-day and I B proud to say I solved it all without akillin n-e-body. N-E-Body that jes sits in a chair and eats ever hour on the hour deserves 2 B dizzy. Wood make Yo Mama dizzy 4 sure. As the day wore on I jes plain got out "Ole Red", the nashunal scotch of Scotland, home of the an-cestors of John Small and family, and mixed up a few an it got me thru the p.m. It now B 7:42 in the p.m. and I'm a takin to my bed, I have fixed and served my last meal of the day and dam sure washed my last dish of the Halloween occashun. N-E body that eats all day long, servet to him cause he be dizzzzzzzzzzzy 'n kaint git up to git his plate desrves to B dizzy. Iffin Yo Mama had stashed away the number of meals 2-day that SumBody has I would be rollin on the floor unable to git up due to overload.
Do U think it B o.k. that Yo Mama reached for the Famous Grouse to kill her ills? I B hopein so.
The Kaptain feelin badly 'n I B real sorrey but I kaint help it if he be cold and dizzy. Got no a/c agoin on the water trailer, got his blankey out, sleepin in his big fancy leather chair givin me n-structions on what 2 do and how 2 do it. So I jes started amoving bak into the tenement house and got the a/c backed down. What's Yo Mama 2 do? Both refrigerators on the boat done built up 2" ice, the little refrigerator/ice maker had a pepsi x-plode in the nite and it took me bout haf an hour to clean that mess up.
Got n-e idears for Yo Mama?
Yesseree, that kaptain did this same job a year ago and we wuz sure he cut the darn thing so short it never wood grow no more. But jes lookit what happen in on-lee 1 year. What a brave man that kaptain is. He had new gloves and a cuttin tool too and just dove in head lst 2 git it done. He even had brung his workin clothes so as to save his good sweater to go eat them enchiladas and tacos.
Yo Mama sez that kaptain is a good man, doncha think so?
Jes lookit that kaptain, he just bustin with being proud of what he done did. Not only did he do all that cuttin and desision makin but U also mite notice all the trash B gone and he ain't even got a pickup truk to hall it a-way in.
Iffin U need a hedge cut back jes let Yo Mama no and she B sending the man 4 the job 2 ur place.
Out thar in the western end of the great state of TX U gotta B a futball fan R else U R no-body. An that ain't all, U better B redy to stand behindt eny smart r dumb remarks U make cause them folks got big ears 'n hear most everthing you say or think bout them.
Now this feller with the shirt on wuz about 6'4" tall and he be a prime x-ample of sumbody U don't wanna meet in a dark alley or have followin U home after a futball game.
Yo Mama wants to know if you R a fan?
Musta been --- seem he wood've finded
nother place to park 4 hurricane cumin.
Whadda you think? Yo Mama thinkin next time
he have gas, water, ice, beer and a better parkin place.
Whatta prettie view Yo Mama had frum
her kitchen winder (when there ain't no
metal roofing a-coverin it). Nise nuf to have a picnic dinner and ask sumbody one likes to cum over an sit a spell.
Wood U like to have some pepperming stuff with Yo Mama?
Not a pretty pikture in Yo Mama's
side yard n-e-more. Jes ain't where
I mite like to take some joy juice 'n
sit outside with that dog-girl.
Do you wanna come sit with Mama?
I B guessin that by now you figgered we got a hurry-cane abearing down on us and Yo Mama is plenty bored cause we been redy and locked up in the cave for days and days. But now, since I ain't screwed n-2 the house I gotta fine idear, wunder if I kan rent the front yard for east-side-not-windy-side parking? Storm supposed to blow thru here real fast tomorrow, them vehicles woodn't b on the grass long nuf to kill it, mite pick up a little cash 2 do some birthday shoppin for that Rufus next week. I figger I kan git 5 cars acrost and 2 deep. Kaint charge The Kaptain cause he likes tamales, but 5 more trucks or sumthin @ bout 10.00 would be a tidy mite bit.
Wanna drive on over to Yo Mama's house?
Yep, havin Halloween and Birthday on the same day R almost scary, so Yo Mama d-sided to pre-pare early this yr.
I jes kud-not d-side what 2 git the boy 4 his speshal day so I called him on the bell phone and we d-sided 2-gether what he needed more 'n enything. Now that B taken care of 'n I kin move on to tuther issue. For the halloween party I gonna greet my frends 'n nabors at the door an demo eating tree frogs. Mebe the word will git round the naborhood quick and them yung-uns wont kum here and Yo Mama kin eat all that junk kandy herself. The Kaptain don't eat junk food, he ain't no fun. He jes likes chocolate milk (fat free) and lil bits 'n pieces of nuthin. Wunder if tree frogs change color like lizards?
Yo Mama has a active mind and thinks bout important things all the time.
Yo Mama is overjoyet that U 3 people B home agin. G-Lady seys U ain't been gone very long since U went round the world. I think U been gone, but not forgotten, 4-ever. Me and The Kaptain jes sittin here awaiting the storm that meybe ain't as bad as he thinks it mite be. We all boarded up cept the frunt door and at early meal 2-day with friends he tried to git sumbody to cum and screw in a board over the frunt door. I said NO WAY is n-e-body a-screwin me n-2 n-E house. So, we B going "UNPROTECTED" cept the Kaptain is now a-gonna drive his car cross the grass and rite up 2 the frunt door, jes hope I can entrance and exit at will. WHEW, sur will be glad when Wilda goes by, write me SOON and send some pics of the Big Trip. I B gittin awful bored sittin here in the dark.
Yo Mama awaitin 2 here frum U and URs