Sunsets a-plenty to share down here

Looks like a picture card, don't it
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Sur is prettie mos ever nite at this plase, jes makes u wanna stay 4-ever.

Yo Mama duz luv them sunsets

Mitely pritty to my ayes

Christmas Lighthouse
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

A site to see, lotsa lites at this croquet camp. Sur is pretty ever nite. Guess tomorrey them folks b takin em all away.

Yo Mama likes these pretty lites.

Christmas Presents is serius bizness

Sure woodnot put my hand n-e wher neer
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Miss Lucy don't want no-body a-messin with her private presents. She gits em and runs with em til they runs out. What fun she did have with all that stuff. Had lotsa treats bagged up and she ate and ate til them was all gone.

She luvs to eat lots like Yo Mama duz.

Jes did you ever ..............??

Lucy the Queen
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Ain't this jes the mos dignifiet annie-mal you ever did c? She jes luves b-n
so b-u-tea-ful and all these folks here at the croquet palace sez they just never did c n-e-thing quite like it. Do U think they mite be stretchin
the truth a bit.

Yo Mama and her Papa luv her no matter what she mite be a-wearin.

Christmas Traylor a-floating

Annie J Christmas 2005
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

A peaceful Christmas, wish you had all been right here with us. Yo Mama duz miss them chillens.

I Reckin' I Should Be Nice...

...now that the cookies are baked and decorated, the gifts are wrapped, and the dinner is fully planned (and shall, after all is said and done, be easy to get on the table). So here are some pretty pictures that I took as part of Bumpus's Christmas present. I had them framed for his office at the gas station.

Since I'm sighing in relief and being nice, I guess I shouldn't tell the story about how a friend of Rufus's brought over some chocolate chip cookies this afternoon and when Rufus ate one, he exclaimed, "WOW! These cookies are so good that I want Ashton's Mom to be my #1 Mom! And from now on, Mama, you can be my step mom!" Yes, since I'm being nice, I'll save that story for later...

The Elder

Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

The Younger

Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

The Younger

Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Two Boys

Two Boys 2005
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

And on This Yuletide Season, It Occurs to Me...

Yep, She's Got a Bun in the Oven
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

...that I SUCK at wrapping presents of any sort. Even those expensive gift bags cannot save me from the gift looking like a hippo sat on it and then a three-legged bulldog with advanced cataracts applied the tape.

...that, in fact, I really don't much like baking cookies.

...that my obsessive need to scream "Merry F-ING Christmas, You Stupid Domps!" gets worse with each year of my advancing age. Next year, I may actually lose control and do this in public.

...that the blissful time of our holy advent (B'hai, may the joy of Festivus ring in all nations of the world) actually has the same effect as smoking crack on the brains of young boys who live in East Texus. Rufus especially has been in a manic stage of holiday overdrive ever since we cut out his Joseph beard early last week.

...that achieving some sort of nirvana-like balance between (1) perpetuating the bird-flu-like Xmas Fever and (2) turning into a stark-raving- autocratic-finger-wagging-lecture-giving--coal-in-your-stocking-threatening-bossy-ass-MOTHER-FROM-HELL is actually impossible. Soon I must either give into the wild side or get out my jackboots.

But What Does It Taste Like?Overheard at El Casa del Fatty y Bumpus

gag
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

...Let's skip the details and just say
1. It was family movie night.
2. Someone had eaten something that didn't agree with him.
3. It was silent but deadly.

Now the scene is set.

Boudreaux: EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW What is that SMELL?

Rufus: Alright, who did it?

Boudreax: It kind of smells like burnt popcorn.

Rufus: After you get used to it, it's actually not so bad! In fact, I kind of like it.

Who Needs a Star on Top When You've Got ME!!!

I'm Just Looking for Santa


Yes, it does appear that there is another psychotic feline in our household. Alley's new favorite pastime is to climb up the Christmas tree and perch on the very top. She also likes to chew off the branches and lights (I'm so glad I chose this year to purchase a new tree). I'm a checkin flights to Fla. to send her back to her REAL parents so watch out Lucy, you never know what you might be getting for Christmas!!!

My God! Look at the Size of My Forehead!

A New Use for Everything
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

The Orthodontist's Dream

The Orthodontist's Dream
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

How Old Is Old Enough ?????????

So ........... I went with the Kaptain to the Veterans Admn. which is located some 1 1/2 hours from my not-boarded-up home, to visit the United States Government Medical gurus re: annual eye checkup. We arrived in the rain, parked in the U. S. Government parking lot, walked the golden path, rode the elevator, checked in, sat in the waiting room until The Name was called. At that point we went down the hall and had an interview with a nice young lady technician and the Kaptain proceeded to tell her the story of his life and how he was recently commodore of That Club and how his boat is at another club where he used to be on The Board, and how we are returning to said club tomorrow. The Best News was that he didn't tell her all about his ex-wives and how many there were and how many are alive and how many are dead and how he doesn't know what happened to some of them. Then we went back to a waiting room and waited with the same gentlemen who had been in waiting room #1. After a while The Name was again called and we went to a doctor's office where they dialated his eyes and inspected him well and he proceeded to share all the previously mentioned information (known in FL family circles as: TMI aka too much information). He then expounded on all his medical history, arm, shoulder, hip twice, what the last eye exam 3 weeks ago in FLL showed, etc. etc. etc. FINALLY it was time to go but he couldn't see since his eyes were dialated so I was happy to get behind the wheel of the Forbidden Car Because I Might Wreck It. I started the motor, put it in gear, pulled out of the parking space and reached for the windshield wiper nob and was told YOU CAN'T DRIVE AND OPERATE THE WINDSHIELD WIPER AT THE SAME TIME SO I WILL DO IT.

NOW; I am almost 68 years old. I have been operating windshield wipers since I got my drivers license at the age of 14. That makes it almost 54 years I've been driving and operating a windshield wiper at the same time. MIND YOU - not a cell phone, no changing my shoes and socks while driving, not writing notes on paper, not setting radio stations ..... JUST PLAIN OLD DRIVING AND RUNNING THE WINDSHIELD WIPER.

Yo Mama is demanding family vote describing my ability to do the above. I will be sitting by the computer waiting.

Big Brown Curly Noodles

Here's some Noodles for the Kapitan

You tell the Kapitan that he had better cool his jets or you might just be servin him up a big bowl of these noodles!!! If you want the recipe, just go to the website listed on this lovely photo!!

Something New at the Basketball Game

The World through Rufus-Colored Glasses
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

As a little background to this story, we had stopped at the Arches from Hell on the way to a basketball game at the special school. The AfH are in one of their modes where they ask if the little snot-nosed fatty who will be receiving the meal is a boy or girl. Well, we took stock of the situation, and I replied that, although they bear more resemblance to Laborador puppies, we did in fact have two human boy childrens in the vehicle.

Of course, we got one boy toy and one girl toy (some sort of mermaid doll...since all I know in my house is testosterone and neutered hounds from hell, I don't study these things). The elder dealt with the news of his mis-gender-identified toy well, and I told him that on the way home, if the AfH wasn't too busy, I would go back through the drive-around and trade it in. Case closed.

Now jump forward an hour to the basketball game.

The special school has a history of prefering big stinky boys in overalls to lead the yelling and has never actually had little stinky girls in obscenely short skirts shaking their coochies for entertainment during sporting events. But a few years ago a group of intrepid envelope pushers decided they would start a dance team to perform at the basketball games. They are cute girls and, I am sure, pure as the driven snow and they work hard at being like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerheffers for not much reward. About 6 out of the 2,000 in attendance clapped four times then the routine was over. In general, I feel sorry for them and try to be supportive, even though their shirts need to be about six inches longer.

Well, Boudreaux and Rufus, having only been to football and baseball games at the special school before, had never seen this hoo-rahing parade of jigglybits. This was a new experience for them.

Half way through the first performance, Rufus looks over at Boudreaux and yells (loud enough to be heard over the music):

"YOU NEED TO COME TO SCHOOL HERE AND GET YOU ONE OF THEM COLLEGE GIRLS SO YOU CAN GIVE HER THAT TOY OUT OF YOUR HAPPY MEAL."

Well, that idea wasn't popular since the junior hormones in my house are hyped up about gameboys and warped cartoons, not about girls. Boudreaux basically ignored him.

During the second high energy hip-shaking performance, Rufus was busily shoving fistfulls of peanut M&M's in his mouth when he suddenly paused and, looking sort of woosy, turned my direction.

"What's wrong?" I asked innocently.

At this point, he started laughing hysterically, mouth hanging wide open and looking like it was full of GARBAGE because of all those little candy pieces of various colors being mixed, half eaten, together in his gaping orafice.

"I'm embarrassed" was his reply.

"Why?" I asked, "Because you decided that the dancing girls are pretty?"

"Naw," he answered, "because I thought I was going to barf just watching them."

N O O D L E S spells noodles, don't it?

Yo Mama thinks she B losing her mind
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Las time Yo Mama checked it out, a word spelt n-o-o-d-l-e-s pertaint to sum stuff that mos folks eat in soup, often chicken. Now .... the kaptain said he wood eat sum noodle soup with chicky in it so I couldn't/woodn't git 2 enjoy it ALL BY MYSELF. So, I fixt the d--- stuff, even put sum chicky n it. So then he announced he NEVER eats soup with a sandwich. He wood have the soup first and then his hot grilled cheese sandwich. So we sits down to n-joy this epicurian delite and he seys, "what is this". Yo Mama tole him it b noodles soup with chicky n it. He seys theys NOT noodles. I thot I was a-hearin things. NOT NOODLES? I runned to the galley and did a quik read of the package and it sure did sey NOODLES. He seys they is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. Why O why, I had the stupidity to ask. And he seys, "B-kause noodles is STRAIGHT and these things are CURLY. So they are NOT what you sed, NOODLES. We ate in silence and then I went bak down them stares and cooket that sandwich. Then I took sum advil and checket on my bar supply 4 the evening. Whew! Kan curly things b noodles? Taters kan b strate or curlie. Why kaint noodles? He seys he likes Lipton dried noodle soup cause them noodles are strate. Yo Mama is thinkin bout jes takin 2 my bed til the cuming hollerday is over.

Don't U think I shud? Then I kan git my foot fixed an have lotsa drugs to keep me happy 4 a while.

U kan spot us a mile away

A fine machine it is
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Bet U don't be a-knowin that we B the onlee dis-tinguished members of that plase where we go on the boat, shall remain un-named case n-e nosy members b a-readin blogs 2-nite, that gotta V-hickle lik thisson with jes 3 wheels. It B a real antique and proud of it. Jes got threw a-paintin and washin it and U jes shud see us aridin round the kampus. Gonna get a cover 4 it Sattiday 2 keep it klean, klean, klean.

If U cum 2 C Yo Mama we take UK 4 a ride U won't 4-git

This B UR new cuzent, cats cuzent too

A loyal friend and new member
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Thot you wanna get a look at ur new relative in that north carolina state. His name b Cody and he be blind with them cataracts like Yo Mama got rid of. Bet Devil Dog luv him lik a brother, even tho he don't slobber. He be the sweetest and mos loving dog next to Lucy that I at the moment seem to be quainted with. He follows your voice so he nose where to go, and he sur kan find that dinner bowl.

Say hi to Yo Mama's new grand-doggie

Thisson got a nastie dis-po-sition

Lil iguana got some nerves of steel
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

I ben ahearin bout iguanas that whip their tales round and hit lil kids and doggies and this nastie guy sur nose how 2-do it. Lucy don't like him atall cause she kan run at him and bark and he jes gives her dirtie looks and whips that tale. Thisson came all the way up to the Kaptain's bak door while the Kaptain wuz a watchin t.v. and watched the kaptain a watchin t.v.

Whadda U think about Yo Mama's new pet?

Wood U like one-a these 4 Christmas?

Grandpa iguana is a-gettin old
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yessiree, Grandpa is a gettin old. U kan tel cause he gittin brown on the bodie. When he git mad, like when Yo Mama and Lucy run him off N-2 the water, he puffs up jes like a dinasore.
But he B smart, smarter than them lil ones that cum arount our place. Thisson nose to get the h--- out the way when Miss Lucy cums full speed to him, a-barking like an idiot.

Shud Yo Mama record the squawk Grandpa makes when he mad?

Jes look at him a-grittin his teeth !

The Kaptain is trying his best
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

YES HE DID, my Kaptain held his own mongst them crazy kids, ex-wife, Yo Mama, the tatooed kid with long sleeves, 2 yr. old that eats only cookies, ice cream, cake and candy, a daughter in law on crutches, a daughter who is full of knowledge, her boyfriend from South America. Whole fam-damily was there and it wuz a glorious okashion with a-plenty to eat and lotsa dishes needin washin. Even got to eat sum stuff offa cardboard.

Yo Mama wisht 4 U 2 B there with herself.

WHAR UR YA, MAMA?

I'm kinda worried...it's been TWO WEEKS since we've heard from Yo Mama. Is she so busy sucking down jelly bellys and then scaring the neighborhood kids with her gasous nature that she does not have time to write?????

DANGER DANGER DANGER DANGER

BEAN BEANS THE MAGIC FRUIT

Ok everybody out there is cyber space - I'm a here to warn you that Sugar Free Jelly Belly Beans will make you fart worse than any other bean on this here planet!!!! The secret is....buy a little bag of these buggers (they got to be the sugar free ones) and eat the WHOLE DANG BAG! (Don't worry it is just two servings and the whole bag is only 160 calories). Then just sit back and let 'er rip!!! You'll be a scarin the pets and everybody who comes around you and soon you will be SITTIN AT A TABLE ALONE!!!! They are sure enough tasty and yummy and this will be a task that is easy to complete! I want anyone who reads this to try this little science experiment at their own house and report back here ASAP as to how fast the wallpaper fell off your walls and how many holes you blew through your big girl panties!

And Lo, His True Nature is Reviled...I Mean Revealed.

[No Further Comment Required.]
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Moment of Vic-tree

Moment of Vic-tree
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Against a host of enemy challenges, skinned knees, missing teeth, and a November dust-bowl of activity...after surviving to play three soccer games in one flippin' day!...after a double-overtime and sudden-death kick-o-rama...We vanquished the pickle people and WON THE COUNTY WIDE SOCCER TOURNAMENT!

I Ain't Skeered...
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

I LOVE TATERS!!!!

What the Hell is Going on Here?

What the Hell is Going on Here?
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Is this that burning bush from the bible? (There's creams for that problem, you know...they talk about em all morning on TV.)

I ain't never seen nothing like this in my life. Who knew?

Big Rock, Little Kid

Studying History
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Here's Boudreaux studying a WW I monument that sits in the gardens below the castle. He stood for a long time and read every word twice. I thought about Rufus, who would have been trying to push it over from the back.

Round 1: Country Comes to Town

Ach! It's an Old, Old Castle
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Well, you knew I'd have to share. What else can you expect when you let three generations worth of boogers loose to fly on air-o-planes, ride on trains, and try to converse with a bunch of normal lookin' folks who jes don't seem tuh tawlk rite!?!

This one here is of the castle at Edinburgh. Some sort of building has sat on this spot for over 3,000 years. The oldest part of this castle was built around 1300 AD. That part is a chapel that sits on the high part of the structure. Inside the gates is a road that winds its way around full circle, going up hill all the time. On top is the chapel, the great fall, etc.

When we first arrived, we thought we'd tag on to one of those "tours leave here every 15 minutes" things. At the beginning, the pretty lady asked our big ol group of about 30: "Where is everyone from?" And a bunch of answers started being mumbled like "Germany," "France," "England," "Israel." Of course, I couldn't help myself. In my best East Texus-Damn-Straight-I-Voted-for-Bush-TWICE-YOU-PANSY-ASS-EUROWEENIES!, I yelled out "TEXUS! Course that's in the USA." I got all the crossways looks you would have expected.

Sheesh! I can't go all that way and not REPRESENT, can I?

El Dia Del Rufus

The Sweet Smell of Loot
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Dear Mimi Yo Mama,

Thank you for the huge wad of bills you sent me through the mail. First I tossed it in the air and let them flutter down around me like fall foliage. Then Mom neatened em up and I took several BIG WHIFFS just to know what it felt like to be flithy. Once I had come to see myself fully as The Donald of East Texus, we loaded up and rampaged through the Damn Fine Dollar Store. They had just gotten their Christmas haul of plastic loot, and I spent a full 30 minutes studying every pop gun, can of Play Doh, race track, and Ken doll.

In the end, it was a remote control monster truck that stole my heart and my stash. But never fear, at my age, this is the perfect training for NASCAR.

Love,

Rufus, the Big Oh-Five

Overheard on All Hallow'd Eve

The Late Knights
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

[Knock knock...]

"TRICK OR TREAT SMELL MY [Mom yelling to interupt: YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW OR WE'RE GOING HOME!]...Can I have some candy, puh-leeeeeze?"

"Well, hello, you cute little guy! How old are you?"

"I'm FIVE years old, which means I can do A LOT of STUFF."

"Oh, I see! And I see you are dressed as a knight! What kind of knight are you?"

"A Late Knight."

"And do you protect your parents from dragons?"

"Who them? Oh my Dad...he's called Sir Toot-a-Lot."

"Oh, really?"

"Ye-ah...Sir Toot-a-Lot and the Late Knights. That's us."

"And who is that lady with you?"

"That? Oh, that's my Mom. She's Sir Beautiful-a-lot."

And lo, the boy lived to see another day.

Thought Maybe I Might Know Someone Who Would Like this for Christmas!!!

Santa is makin his list!!!

I just be a doin a little shoppin online and I found this little jewel that might come in mighty handy in a number of households - watch out - one might end up under YOUR tree!!!

There sumthin bout bein home ALONE

Off Annie J goes, Yo Mama not with-em
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Jes wanna let U girlies no that Yo Mama is a-sittin alone in the house, Hallaelujah The Kaptain and his boat drivin Friend by namma Frank left at 8:58 a.m. and will be a-driving that water trailer bout 5 hours. When they gits 1 1/2 hrs from there destination they B calling me and think I mite like 2 drive the car and the dog to the same place. I jes don no. Kinda wunderin how far I got git if I hed west n-stead be-4 they find me. Jes put the n-gines together 2 days ago. Wunder if they b workin out their in that ocean.

Sur is nice and quite here in this boarded up cave with the rat livin in the laundry room.

As the boat passed by the kaptain was a-hollering questions at Yo Mama

Wundering where the bandaids are
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Seems the Kaptain had cut his hand in the going-away-process and jes didn't no how 2 handle it. Like what duz one need 2 know? How to open a bandaid? It was a challenge 4 sure. As the boat passed by he was jes a-hollering at Yo Mama at the top of his lungs, thot he needed a bandaid and did't no where they wuz or what 2 do.

Yo Mama is at her wits end

4 a minit Yo Mama thot she wuz in Texas

This is living at its best
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

When times get tough, the tough do no how 2 git goin. Them folks at Southport jes got out their fish and shrimp and oysters and whatever else be decaying in that frigerator and set up some sorta pit out front and went rite on with there busyness. Probly the only place a-serving the day after Wilma came to call. Did my heart and soul good 2 see it all.

Sur thot I was in TX for a minite, or meybe even Mary-land, Yo Mama did.

Cheerio and Pip Pip

This B my friend DL who taught me lotsa stuff
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Sum people jes smarter than other folks and my friend DL is among them smartest ones. He nose bout all there is 2 no about the great state nown as Mary-land. It weren't a buncha yankees a-tall, them wuz southerners. I new there wuz a good reason I liket 2 go there. N E way, DL gets all dressed up in this garb and U kan chose what walking tour U wanna go on.
He tells it like it is and U go home athinking U sorta smart 2. Aint't he a cute one? He also serves us that lst meal of the day at the B&B and even 1 time I kaught him aloading the dishwasher. Probably puts the garbage down the rite side of the sink too. Wunder if he gets dizzy?

Yo Mama wants 2 no iffin U want his phone number.

I Musta been from Mary-land long ago

Bet U kan read it jes like I kan
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

I think I jes finded my roots 4 sure.
I kan unnerstand what this article title all about and bet U kan too. Them folks in Mary-land sur do speak my linguistics. This wuz a featured feature in the plate glass winder of the Maryland State House. DL took me 2 see it and I wuz charmed, to B sure.

Are you charmed like Yo Mama?

Kan U tell Yo Mama what is wrong here?

Will U B the WINNER?
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Whilst a-strolling about with my new friend DL, we visited upon this flag in the Maryland State House ... kan U tell me what is wrong with it? Iffin U B the 1st one to notice, U will B the winner !!!!

Yo Mama didn't git it at first either, jes keep a-studying it or meybe ask 1 of your kids.

My an-t-thestic of choice 2-nite

Anyone who has been 2 Scotland will no it
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

It has been one-hella-day and I B proud to say I solved it all without akillin n-e-body. N-E-Body that jes sits in a chair and eats ever hour on the hour deserves 2 B dizzy. Wood make Yo Mama dizzy 4 sure. As the day wore on I jes plain got out "Ole Red", the nashunal scotch of Scotland, home of the an-cestors of John Small and family, and mixed up a few an it got me thru the p.m. It now B 7:42 in the p.m. and I'm a takin to my bed, I have fixed and served my last meal of the day and dam sure washed my last dish of the Halloween occashun. N-E body that eats all day long, servet to him cause he be dizzzzzzzzzzzy 'n kaint git up to git his plate desrves to B dizzy. Iffin Yo Mama had stashed away the number of meals 2-day that SumBody has I would be rollin on the floor unable to git up due to overload.

Do U think it B o.k. that Yo Mama reached for the Famous Grouse to kill her ills? I B hopein so.

The Kaptain gonna catch flies in his mouth

He jes full of info and instructions
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

The Kaptain feelin badly 'n I B real sorrey but I kaint help it if he be cold and dizzy. Got no a/c agoin on the water trailer, got his blankey out, sleepin in his big fancy leather chair givin me n-structions on what 2 do and how 2 do it. So I jes started amoving bak into the tenement house and got the a/c backed down. What's Yo Mama 2 do? Both refrigerators on the boat done built up 2" ice, the little refrigerator/ice maker had a pepsi x-plode in the nite and it took me bout haf an hour to clean that mess up.

Got n-e idears for Yo Mama?

He new when he went what wuz a-waitin him

He wuz cold and needed work to do
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yesseree, that kaptain did this same job a year ago and we wuz sure he cut the darn thing so short it never wood grow no more. But jes lookit what happen in on-lee 1 year. What a brave man that kaptain is. He had new gloves and a cuttin tool too and just dove in head lst 2 git it done. He even had brung his workin clothes so as to save his good sweater to go eat them enchiladas and tacos.

Yo Mama sez that kaptain is a good man, doncha think so?

Just bustin with pride 4 a job well dun

Hot and sweaty now but mitey proud
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Jes lookit that kaptain, he just bustin with being proud of what he done did. Not only did he do all that cuttin and desision makin but U also mite notice all the trash B gone and he ain't even got a pickup truk to hall it a-way in.

Iffin U need a hedge cut back jes let Yo Mama no and she B sending the man 4 the job 2 ur place.

Better think B-4 U say sumthin

Texas football is serious business
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Out thar in the western end of the great state of TX U gotta B a futball fan R else U R no-body. An that ain't all, U better B redy to stand behindt eny smart r dumb remarks U make cause them folks got big ears 'n hear most everthing you say or think bout them.
Now this feller with the shirt on wuz about 6'4" tall and he be a prime x-ample of sumbody U don't wanna meet in a dark alley or have followin U home after a futball game.

Yo Mama wants to know if you R a fan?

Only a MAN would park under a palm tree

Wunder iffin he had a headache .....
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Musta been --- seem he wood've finded
nother place to park 4 hurricane cumin.
Whadda you think? Yo Mama thinkin next time
he have gas, water, ice, beer and a better parkin place.

U a-gree with Yo Mama's deep thoughts?

Jes Nuthin Like a Little Tropical Yard Scene

The Afternoon Before Wilma
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Whatta prettie view Yo Mama had frum
her kitchen winder (when there ain't no
metal roofing a-coverin it). Nise nuf to have a picnic dinner and ask sumbody one likes to cum over an sit a spell.

Wood U like to have some pepperming stuff with Yo Mama?

A-seeing is believing, PTL

After Wilma
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Not a pretty pikture in Yo Mama's
side yard n-e-more. Jes ain't where
I mite like to take some joy juice 'n
sit outside with that dog-girl.

Do you wanna come sit with Mama?

Parking - small fee - 4 those in need

Wunder how many I can squeeze in
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

I B guessin that by now you figgered we got a hurry-cane abearing down on us and Yo Mama is plenty bored cause we been redy and locked up in the cave for days and days. But now, since I ain't screwed n-2 the house I gotta fine idear, wunder if I kan rent the front yard for east-side-not-windy-side parking? Storm supposed to blow thru here real fast tomorrow, them vehicles woodn't b on the grass long nuf to kill it, mite pick up a little cash 2 do some birthday shoppin for that Rufus next week. I figger I kan git 5 cars acrost and 2 deep. Kaint charge The Kaptain cause he likes tamales, but 5 more trucks or sumthin @ bout 10.00 would be a tidy mite bit.

Wanna drive on over to Yo Mama's house?

I Am Redy 4 The Comin Holler-day

Happy Birthday Jack 'O Lantern
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yep, havin Halloween and Birthday on the same day R almost scary, so Yo Mama d-sided to pre-pare early this yr.
I jes kud-not d-side what 2 git the boy 4 his speshal day so I called him on the bell phone and we d-sided 2-gether what he needed more 'n enything. Now that B taken care of 'n I kin move on to tuther issue. For the halloween party I gonna greet my frends 'n nabors at the door an demo eating tree frogs. Mebe the word will git round the naborhood quick and them yung-uns wont kum here and Yo Mama kin eat all that junk kandy herself. The Kaptain don't eat junk food, he ain't no fun. He jes likes chocolate milk (fat free) and lil bits 'n pieces of nuthin. Wunder if tree frogs change color like lizards?

Yo Mama has a active mind and thinks bout important things all the time.

Welkom Home Fatty where talk is cheap

Only In the U.S. of A. kan U wear this
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yo Mama is overjoyet that U 3 people B home agin. G-Lady seys U ain't been gone very long since U went round the world. I think U been gone, but not forgotten, 4-ever. Me and The Kaptain jes sittin here awaiting the storm that meybe ain't as bad as he thinks it mite be. We all boarded up cept the frunt door and at early meal 2-day with friends he tried to git sumbody to cum and screw in a board over the frunt door. I said NO WAY is n-e-body a-screwin me n-2 n-E house. So, we B going "UNPROTECTED" cept the Kaptain is now a-gonna drive his car cross the grass and rite up 2 the frunt door, jes hope I can entrance and exit at will. WHEW, sur will be glad when Wilda goes by, write me SOON and send some pics of the Big Trip. I B gittin awful bored sittin here in the dark.

Yo Mama awaitin 2 here frum U and URs