Bumpus got some blood test results back that were not good...pre-diabetic levels, in fact. Therefore, Bumpus is now on a "Mediteranean" diet that includes whole grains, fruits, veg, and fish or chicken ONLY three meals per week. No more than 1/2 a pound of red meat (includes pork) per M-O-N-T-H. What does this mean? We...both mind you, for moral support and because I don't want to be a widow...are now almost vegetarians. What else does it mean? That I am friggin gonna die if I don't get me a hangaburger soon (you know how you always want what you can't have). More? That he is supposed to drink 1-2 glasses of red wine per night. Next implication? That I will be joining him by drinking two HUGE glasses of cheap white wine per night, too. After all, a wife should support her husband.
So tonight, dinner was asparagus, broccoli, tomatoes, okra, and two pieces of double-fiber wheat bread. Then two large glasses of wine. What does this mean? Three things: (1) that my pee already stinks from the asparagus, (2) that I'll be shitting like a duck with the runs tomorrow, and (3) that I am easily amused. Therefore, I will share the source of my amusement:
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