Happy Turkey Day !

Have a great day!
And maybe next year
we'll ALL be there
a-cookin together....
Love, Y.M., H, Lucy

#1 ON MY CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING LIST.....

All this talk about farting makes me think that this could be a very valuable gift!

Thought for the day

Never hold your farts in.
They travel up your spine,
into your brain and ......
That is where shitty ideas
come from.

'tis just the come hither smell

when a woman wears a leather dress
a man's heart abeats quicker
and his throat gets dry
he goes weak in the knees and
he begins to think irrationally
Ever wonder why??????
Because she smells like a new truck

I wonder...................

Y. M. wonders if they ask
about farting too? Whadda
think? Shall I sign Hal up
for some excitement?

The little Cell Children

Y.M. saw this and couldn't help but
think of the school teachers in my
little family............

Y.M. is a Freak of Nature

I really hates to report the
item to your left but thought
it my duty as a re-spon-sible
parent 2 do so. Bout 2 1/2
weeks ago Y.M. saw a PIMPLE
on her chin. I monitored it,
picked at it, squeezed it, but it
didn't wanna do much. Has
been a knot for a few days, I jes
covers it up with makeup. But
2-nite I wuz doin a face check
4 the periodic offensive little
hairs that need pullin and I
saw, much 2 my dismay, a black hump in the bump. I picked
it a bit and voila, a big and long and black and thicky wirey
hair jumped out at me. Of course I ran 4 the camera so you
could check your face, or whatever, and report to your M.D.
Sorry girlies, Y.M. did not plan it this way...........

Not Me, She Said

Lucy was more than happy
and co-operative to show
those who are enter-ested
that she is not carrying the
Jesus gene.
That wood B all Y.M. has
2 say bout that. Now, we
standing by to see what
Nelson wood like to share.

GET REAL, POR FAVOR

Lookin like to Y.M. that sum
folks B 2 tall and sum B 2
short. Not N E middle sizes
about it. PTL that we not
fittin in neither category.
Have you ever met 'em B-fore?
Plenty scarey, ain't it!

Lovely Lady

Think she gother watch set
wrong tween am and pm.
Ain't she a beauty, bet her
mama is mitey proud of this
little design. Maybe it B her
casual friday outfit.

CHECK NELSON AND LUCY IMMEDIATELY!!!!

You never know what treasures you will uncover!!!

Things to Do This Weekend......

#1 - Get a Pedicure

Reflections on Flatulence.....

DON'T WEAR THE PAD, JUST BE GLAD!

If you purchase one of those loverly filters, it might prevent you from being able to express youself as nature intended.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YszlftVHEa8

Fatty's Christmas Wish List #1

2-Morrow B Casual Friday

Shaniqua B wantin 2 no
what lil outfit you plannin
2 wear, wanna B sure it
ain't the same as hers.

Yo Mama has a different
look N mind for hersself.

What college did she choose?

Awaiting your comments
and observations..........

Y.M.

Mama, don't let yo babies grow up to be cowboys ....

I think he B thinkin that no
bodie told him this mite be
a happenin...........

OUCH!

Don't lettum grow up 2 B
toreadors neither.

Fast Forward

Can it B? Is it Carroll and
Nancy somewhere down the
line aft-her Y.M. is in the
great beyond? Sure didn't
know it was a butt snore.

Rufus the Tutor, Volume 1

Tuesday was not a video game day, so what was the point of existing? Boudreaux comes home and sticks his nose in a book. Magoo is dismantling the house. What is a poor middle child to do? Strap on his iPod and lay face down, sprawled on the floor for an hour. Of course, what is a mother to do? Let all those sleeping dogs keep laying there as long as they are shut up.

Then later, I happen to be walking into the kitchen. Rufus is sitting with Magoo at the table, intently working on teaching her something of great value...

Rufus, very slowly and deliberately: "Okay, here it is again. Say it: Screw...you...we're...from...Texus."

Magoo: "Sroo yew...Tech-sass."

Nice.

For the "Easy to Amuse" Crowd out There

Bumpus got some blood test results back that were not good...pre-diabetic levels, in fact. Therefore, Bumpus is now on a "Mediteranean" diet that includes whole grains, fruits, veg, and fish or chicken ONLY three meals per week. No more than 1/2 a pound of red meat (includes pork) per M-O-N-T-H. What does this mean? We...both mind you, for moral support and because I don't want to be a widow...are now almost vegetarians. What else does it mean? That I am friggin gonna die if I don't get me a hangaburger soon (you know how you always want what you can't have). More? That he is supposed to drink 1-2 glasses of red wine per night. Next implication? That I will be joining him by drinking two HUGE glasses of cheap white wine per night, too. After all, a wife should support her husband.

So tonight, dinner was asparagus, broccoli, tomatoes, okra, and two pieces of double-fiber wheat bread. Then two large glasses of wine. What does this mean? Three things: (1) that my pee already stinks from the asparagus, (2) that I'll be shitting like a duck with the runs tomorrow, and (3) that I am easily amused. Therefore, I will share the source of my amusement:

Talkin' to the Beautiful, Grown Up Cousin

Magoo has been pretending to talk to her West Texus cousins on the phone, so tonight I called them in real life so she could actually say hi. This made her night! Here is what it looked like on our end.

NOW I KNOW WHOSE FAULT IT IS!!!!!!!