...like anyone really cares? Mainly, I just have to record this stuff so when I am 90, living with all my cats, visiting Bumpus at the room next door, and replacing his Viagra with sugar pills, I will remember what it was like to be approaching 40 and getting dumber by the day.
#1: Yesterday, I Was a Sucker
I was picking Rufus at his lessons del Espanol, when another mother walked up behind me and said, "just be still for a minute." I was pretty sure that it wasn't a hold up, and when I looked over my shoulder, she was approaching me carefully with a kleenex. Snot? Vomit? Her demeanor told me it might be a huge, blood sucking stink bug, so I froze in place. What was all the drama about? I had a half-eaten grape Dum-Dum lollipop stuck to my back.
#2: I'm OCD about the Public Bathroom
I've worked most of the last 15 years in the same building, and when I go to pee, I *always* go in the exact same stall. There are about 12 to choose from, and I pick the same one 100% of the time. It's like a tradition, a habit, a pee-at-work ritual, a first step on the road to needing therapy beyond talking to myself on this blog. Thankfully, the bathroom is used seldom enough so I don't ever arrive to find someone else in my spot. Yes, I only go pee at work. Pooping at work is a whole other issue.
#3: Yes, They are Pink, Flowered, and of the "Granny" Variety
I just got back from peeing in my appointed stall, a trip during which I envisioned, planned, and drafted this entire post (see what a good multi-tasker I am?), and after washing my hands, I looked in the huge mirror. And what did I see? That clearly visible, above the top of my pants and through the solid white cotton shirt I'm wearing are my pink, flowered granny pannies, for all the world to see. As Yo Mama taught me...at least I am wearing panties.
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1 comment:
LOL!! That is hilarious about the sucker!!
We used to have a "No Poopin" rule at work. Those who stunk up the bathroom were subject to ridicule. So wrong, I know.
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