The Unspoken Epidemic: Christmas Crack

Starting around October 24, when the Halloween parties start and the candy starts getting passed out, my children lose their minds. This lasts until after Valentine's day, when the last of the candy gets scarfed or thrown away, we all take a cleansing enema and a shot of tequila, and get back on track for the middle of the year. This October-February phase of each year is what I called the season of Christmas Crack.

Running around with no purpose, dancing in circles without music, contortions of the body that would give me a crick in my neck, and all sorts of behavior that make mothers and fathers want to get out the duct tape: these are all symptoms of the Christmas Crack disease.

One of my girl friends called me last week, and when she asked how we were, I replied, "Well, you know. The grownups are surviving, and the kids are fully overdosed on Christmas Crack." She did not think this was funny and actually sort of scolded me for not just recognizing that our precious little offspring are just full of the glory of God and the wild anticipation of our savior's birth, honey. I beg to differ. Only speaking for my own...my precious offspring are stoned on the sight of presents with their names on them and an endless stream of chocolates, cookies, and trips to see Santa.

Now, I have proof.

Below: Rufus exhibiting type-A Christmas Crack addiction behavior.