Sunday, August 27, 2006

Weekly Photo for BM

Bahama Mama:
Here is your weekly photo of Tootsie Magoo, 10.5 weeks old, taken today.

You think in a few years we would stick her on a sled and drag her around our meticulously cared for yard behind a truck? With a smile like this, her father would probably do it.

Sleddin' in East Texus

As we relaxed eating our fried chicken and gazed out across the parched beauty of our East Texus lawn in the dog days of late August, our neighbors hooked up a sled to the back of their truck and started dragging their older daughters around on THEIR OWN YARD. They were doing dog-nuts on their own grassy expanse.

Who does dog-nuts in their pick up on their empty lot in the middle of town on a Sunday morning, or any time for that matter?

True East Texuns.

Fatty on the Road to RU?

Three hours ago, I went to the grocery because everyone in my family was screaming for fried chicken, most of all me. Just five minutes ago, I realized that the shorts I was wearing (with a shorter shirt--no tail to hide the evidence) were on wackbards, with the draw string hanging down my the center of my broad booty. We did get the fried chicken though. Priorities.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

And Finally, Figuring All Class is Already Lost for the Day:
The Dutch Oven

While others are learnin' fancy new words like prestidigitation and bein' told in the third grade that they can read books up to an 8th grade level, others of us are learnin' about new concepts like the Dutch Oven. (You'll have to scroll down to see the definition.)


In the spirit of our recent high tech advances, here is a video for further instruction: note my favorite part, when the dog and cat get dutch ovened at the very beginning: Dutch Oven in action. What is your favorite part?

I have a whole story to illustrate this but will have to relate it later when Goozie is not in my lap.

PS to Bahama Mama: Shot the bunny lately?

And Now, on That Same Subject:
The Wisdom of Rufus #823


exit
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.


Fatty: "What did you learn at school today, oh kindergartener?"


Rufus: "How to keep my farts quiet during nap time."

Fatty Got a Question(s) #826B

Why is it that a grown woman with crow's feet, three chilrens, too many animals to count, and lovely, naturally greying hair still cannot keep a straight face (most of the time) when discussing or otherwise considering fla-chu-lence, aka farts?


By the way, Bumpus is just as bad as I am about it, too.


Will we ever grow up? Or will I be 99 years old, living next door to Bumpus in a house full of cats, and still laughing when 108-year-old Cat Crap toots?


I guess that was more than one question.

Fatty Got a Question #826

NO PHOTO AVAILABLE




At what point does a toilet become a science experiment?

Friday, August 25, 2006

BEHOLD: THE VIDEO!

Fatty and Goozie have gove high tech!



Tootsie MaGoo, also known as Goozie, has a favorite sport: pounding the hell out of TTKAAW (the toy known as Aunt Woolah).

Sidenotes: Yes, this is a silent video. You didn't need to hear me cheering her on. And no, the speed is not increased--she really is kicking that fast.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

BRTRU, Stop #813


Green Eyed Boy
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.
Rufus and I were reading a book about Benjamin Franklin while Boudreaux was sitting on the couch reading something else. Of course, this was a picture book...what kind of a freak do you think I am?

Rufus (reading out loud): "Benjamin was one of 16 children."

Fatty, in horror: "Yikes! Can you imagine being part of a family that big?"

Boudreaux, just tuning in: "Benjamin must be a rabbit...(lengthy pause as R & F contemplate that comment)...because humans can't make that many babies."

Friday, August 11, 2006

Look Out Archie Bunker


Recliner
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.
The people who want you to spend lots of money on things with a relatively short life span came up with a bunch of fun, cool inventions while I was busy being not pregnant and not the mother of a small child. So now that I get one last ride on the roller coaster, I am having fun learning about all the stuff that I've missed in the mean time.

This here is called a Bumbo. Of course, anything that is called something only a few letters away from "Bumpus" has to come live at my house. It's a chair that supports their backs so they can sit in it BEFORE they can actually sit up good. Tootsie Magoo (current nickname of the week) isn't quite there on the neck thing yet, but she can stay upright for about 30 seconds before making a slow-motion timmmmmbbbeeeerrrrr over to the left. The seat is molded foam rubber, so it's soft and totally washable. People use them as a high chair...in the quest to avoid completely filling our house with large, colorfully appointed plastic items, we are going to try the same.

2240 for the WHOLE THING


Bad Mommy
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.
Sick: I bought a package of Peanut Butter Oreo Double Stuff.

Sicker: I hid them so no one else in my house would find them.

Sickest: I contemplated eating the whole thing in one day, just so I could write a blog posting about it.

Mildly Redeeming: I ate them in three days instead.

(If you open a package of cookies at 11:59 PM on Monday and finish them at 12:01 AM on Wednesday, then you get to count it as three days!)

Lift


Lift
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.
Eight weeks.
10.5 pounds.
22 inches long.

BRTRU, Replay of Stop #802

Again, he was wearing shorts with the price tag on them. No, we haven't gone on a shopping spree...I just bought him three pair of shorts for school. He wore them like that all day. Then his buddy called and asked him to come spend the night.

Fatty: "You need to take that tag off your shorts."

Boudreaux: "But I want everyone to know that they're new."

Wisdom of Rufus #811

"Those people in China must be busy."

("Oh yeah? Why?")

"Cause everything we have is made there."

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Time for SCHOOL!

Well, we registered for kinder-corral-the-beasts yesterday. So what's next? Why a respectable school haircut for our future frat daddy. What else? Yes, we are leaving it just like this, Mama.

BRTRU, Stop #802

Boudreaux walked around all day today, including a trip to Rufus's kindergarten registration, with the sales tags hanging off his new shorts.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Girlchild: 2, Poor Bumpus: 0

And the girlchild gazed up at her father, asking, "Daddy, may I please have a rocket ship with a treasure chest filled with golden coins and diamonds and rubies and can we fly the rocket ship to another world and let me be the queen?"

And her Daddy looked down into her eyes and she smiled.

"Of course you can."

He was a goner from the start. And he knew it.