The Table Mate Queen
Hot Damn and Holy Tamales - Here I be just a sittin' pretty with my Table Mate. I just did return from the ole Sweetwater Country Club Whino Dinner where I did be a samplin MANY varieties of dat very fine alkeholic grape conncoction! And I sure did be a needin it after my LONG day with the 1st grade bugger eaters. I was sure a wishin fer my little nefhew Jack Small to be a helpin me to run the bugger eater class because I was a sure that he would have enjoyed the little first grade cutie with tatooes who liked to pole dance!! WHEW...... society has done gone to hell in a hand basket. Well, any way, that there whino dinner sure did a help me to ferget my troubles.... especially some limon after dinner apertife that was served in a shot glass and that made ya feel all warm and cozy inside. When that there waiter come around with the limon bottle fer second helping I was quick on the draw to stick my shot glass in his face. The only down side to the whole thing is that I ordered myself my own bottle of that ther limon majic, and it will be in my possession day after termorrow - just in time fer campin with the cuzins, but my sister done got herself knocked up and she cannot participate in any limon activities with me. Never feer, my good ole brother in law done reminded me that HE is not pregnant, so he is gettin his own shot glass ready for the occasion!
Any way, I best be getting myself ready fer bed since I get to be an 8th grade substertute tomorrow and I can't be arrivin at la escuela with a headache and limon on my breath.
I will keep you folks updated on my new drive me to drinkin career!
3 comments:
What do you mean, you can't be showing up to school with limon on your breath? I'm sure it has fine medicinal purposes!
Yo Mama is s-l-o-w on the draw this spring because she also be nown as Big Foot, but ain't no reason a'tall that you kaint save sum that lemon poison 4 when I cum in late April. Mite need 2 git me a bottle all my own, the kaptain wood B a-thinking Ise eatin them lemon drop hard kandies again. I B mitely proud that U attended with pleasure the wine event and jes hope they skedule a-nother one 4 when I B there.
Yo Mama has sum big thirsty lemon need.
I jes B a-sayin it One More Time, Table Mates shud be in ever home, shud cum with the house, nisest thing I done bought since the Percoset of last month.
That is it for now, if you B lucky.
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