Lift

Lift
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Eight weeks.
10.5 pounds.
22 inches long.

BRTRU, Replay of Stop #802

Again, he was wearing shorts with the price tag on them. No, we haven't gone on a shopping spree...I just bought him three pair of shorts for school. He wore them like that all day. Then his buddy called and asked him to come spend the night.

Fatty: "You need to take that tag off your shorts."

Boudreaux: "But I want everyone to know that they're new."

Wisdom of Rufus #811

"Those people in China must be busy."

("Oh yeah? Why?")

"Cause everything we have is made there."

Time for SCHOOL!

The British Invade East Texus
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Well, we registered for kinder-corral-the-beasts yesterday. So what's next? Why a respectable school haircut for our future frat daddy. What else? Yes, we are leaving it just like this, Mama.

BRTRU, Stop #802

Boudreaux walked around all day today, including a trip to Rufus's kindergarten registration, with the sales tags hanging off his new shorts.

Girlchild: 2, Poor Bumpus: 0

Poor, Poor Bumpus
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

And the girlchild gazed up at her father, asking, "Daddy, may I please have a rocket ship with a treasure chest filled with golden coins and diamonds and rubies and can we fly the rocket ship to another world and let me be the queen?"

And her Daddy looked down into her eyes and she smiled.

"Of course you can."

He was a goner from the start. And he knew it.

BRTRU, Stop #730

I need to stop feeding my children. They grow too fast and it's too damned expensive.

"Boudreaux, come try on these new shorts that Bumpus bought you. Let's see if they fit."

(Fatty turns back to business in the kitchen.)

(Shuffling and grunting sounds.)

"Mom? They are too small! I can't even get them over my hips!"

Momentary silence.

"Did you unbutton them?"

Pause.

"Oh! Now they fit just fine."

BRTRU, Stop #727

Onward Fine Fellows
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

With this post, I am starting a new tradition. In the spirit of "The Wisdom of Rufus," we will now also enjoy "Boudreaux's Road to Rice University."

Last Wednesday, Boudreaux was playing outside with his buddies, when he stepped in a big steaming pile of Chuckroast Chili out in the dead middle of the yard. He took great pains to hop, one-footed all the way to the back door, not touching the patty-infested foot to the ground. I found him opening the door, about to walk into the house.

"What are you doing?"

"I stepped in dog poo."

"Why didn't you wipe your foot off in the grass?"

"I wanted you to clean it off."

Fatty Junior in Fine Form

Hoochie Coo Senorita
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

I love this picture of Fatty, Junior! It reminds me that once per year, I get to go chunky dunk at her house and consume a lovely variety and quantity of delicious beverages! Who else out there has a rita machine in her backyard?!?

The Beans that Shook the World

Wholemade Hot Tub
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Wicked Games

Girlchild: 1, Daddy: 0
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Cost of getting Daddy to stop eating his dinner because your hysterical screaming is tearing at his heart strings? Priceless.

Gimme Them Little Shuckers,or as an alternate title,Yes, This Conversation Really Happened

Gratooo-eeetus Photo for Blog Posting: Deep Thoughts or Prepping for Poop?
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Number 3 gave me the gift of a lifetime: a hemi. No, not from Dr. Z but one of those located down south, associated with the work and pain in the *** of motherhood. Thankfully, it's an inside hemi, not an outside hemi. Until now, I didn't know there were different varieties of hemi. I guess I will count that, the fact that I was ignert of such things until this point, as a blessing as well.

So the doctor sends me to the pharmacy with a scribble on a piece of paper. I turn it in, wait an hour, and then return to pick it up. The lady who helps me at the pharmacy is about 45 years old, normal looking...whatever that means.

Pharmacy woman: "That will be $3.24."

Fatty: Hands over money in exchange for package of silver bullets. "Thank you."

PW: "Do you need the pharmacist to answer any questions?"

F, who doesn't ask questions about anything with the word "RECTUM" written on it in all caps: "No, I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

PW: "So, you know where to stick it?"

F: "I have a good idea of where."

PW: "Do you know to take the wrapper off?"

F, who by now has gotten over that tiny ounce of southern-girl restraint and lady-likeness that her Mother worked so hard to teach her: "Do I look like I'd try to eat a tamale with the shuck on it?"

PW: "Well, you'd be surprised by what some people will do."

I See Reezemblence to Audrey Hepburn

Damned Bonnet #2
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Who Needs a Tablemate?

Where Is Thumbkin?
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

And for all you freakishly sensitive people out there who are ready to have CPS marching their chubby little hinies up to my front door, clipboards in hand, YES, I blew off the pizza to cool it a little before setting it on her head! Jeez!

Boudreaux's Bath House

Boudreaux's Bath House
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Rufus Gets High

Rufus Gets High
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Grandpa and Grandpa

Who Needs Savin'?
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Conversation overheard at dinner tonight, just like an old married couple:

Rufus (just returning from his normal mid-dinner bathroom stop): "My nuts hurt when I pee."

Boudreax: "Don't say that."

R: "Why not? If my nuts hurt, then my nuts hurt."

B: "One day, you're going to grow up and if you want to get married, you're going to have to stop talking like that."

R: "Well, maybe. But my nuts still hurt."

Pooh!

Pooh
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Hair Day

Hair Day
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Welcome to the real world, my love. Where even newborns have bad hair days.

It SPOKE TO ME

It SPOKE TO ME
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Welcome to the Age of Aquarius, young earth mother. Where no one wears undies, where we eat special brownies, and where psycho bunnies speak to us of the wonders of the magical world.

9 AM at Our House: The 12-Step Program

240%
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Last night was not particularly peaceful, with little precious bundle screaming her head off from 5 AM until 6:30 AM, sleeping from 6:30-8, eating from 8-8:45, and then starting the screaming again.

Tired Milk-Wagon-Mama's solution?

Step 1: Give child to her father.
Step 2: Forage through the deep freeze, trying not to fall in head-first.
Step 3: Emerge with full pint of "Everything but the..." Ben and Jerry's.
Step 4: Promise one's self to eat only one 1/2-cup serving.
Step 5: Curiously examine the nutritional information, kindly provided a la our governmental regoooolatshuns.
Step 6: Say "Aw, to HELL WITH IT" and eat the whole thing.
Step 7: Ponder the Vallium-like effects of consuming 1240 calories, 120% of my daily fat, and 240% of my daily saturated fat in one 15-minute sitting.
Step 8: Post highly poetic confessional to family blog.
Steps 9-12: Ponder how long one must wait to do this again...

6 AM at Our House

Snooze
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Notice the Babwa Wawa type fuzzy focus, as this was taken in light of the wee morning without a flash.

Jack-o-Lantern

Now I Can Spit Without Opening My Mouth
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Unlike his older brother, who waited for his teeth to literally be hanging by some flesh thread and sending his mother into horrified convulsions, Rufus just took it upon himself to yank the damned thing out (once it was loose enough to not be terribly painful). It's all about the bucks.

Taken as I Was Diving for Cover

East Texus 4th Celebrashuns
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

$14 worth of fireworks...with the grand finale being a pile of used turtles, chickens, dookie worms, and sparklers being placed upon a full package of black cats.

La Leche on the Go

What Happened to Fuzzy Dice?
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

I'm picturing some combination of a Wendy's milkshake and a camping sunshower...

Worm Hole to Another Dimension

Binky Transporter
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

About the Size of a Professional League Football

Bundle
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Damned Bonnet

Damned Bonnet
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Washer Woman

Washer Woman
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Typing one handed now. Scuse shorthand.
Report from last three days:

She woke up.
Hungry.
Like lumberjack.
Boobie fairy arrived.
Hungry.
Hungry.
Hungry.
Fussy.
Fussy.
into car seat.
Onto washer machine.
Sleep. Finally.
Binky 1: no good. No like. Spit out.
Binky 2: no good. No like. Spit out.
Binky 3: no good. No like. Spit out.
Binky 4: no good. No like. Spit out.
Call nusre. Advice.
First trip to germ-infested Target.
Binky 5: WORKS!
Angels sing.
Mom goes to sleep.

Night #5 much better.

Pictures from the Hospital

Some people have dancing queens, some have flappers:

http://www.growingfamily.com/webnursery/babypage_view.asp?URLID=5B1G0S9T4L

Rufus and the Princess

Rufus and the Princess
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Rufus: Train 'em up early. Train 'em up right.

Even a two-day old can learn from a boy with a bright red Kool-Ade mustachio.

Thank You, Fox News

Thank You, Fox News
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

And now, a little break from all the Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice, to get back to the reality of La Familia del Fatty y Bumpus. As I was laboring in a let's-not-discuss-it kind of pain, Fox News spent 2 or 3 hours (it's all a blur) hyping up a huge event: they dropped four Mentos into a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke and it immediately exploded in guy-zer like fashun. So of course, what do us E-TX hillbillies do to celebrate the homecoming of our daughter? We run to the 7-11, get the supplies, and set off some diet fireworks of our own. Yes, it really worked.

She's Awake!

ICU
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Actually, most of the time, she's asleep. She's a very peaceful little girl, now officially two days old. :)

Biggest Brother

Biggest Brother
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

No, she's not crying. She was making faces. This was the first time that big brother got to hold little sister.

First of Many: Hannah & the Flapper Hat

First of Many: Hannah & the Flapper Hat
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Wisdom of Rufus #61

Aunt Choc did the fat lady (that's me) the favor of coming to visit for two nights. This gave me something to look forward to and something else to concentrate on rather than sitting around whining about the feet in my ribcage. While she and I were chatting one evening, Rufus announced, "I know who loves me more than I love her!" I answered, "That's right! It's me. I love you more than you can love me." We had been having an argument about who loved the other more for some weeks. Aunt Choc looked a little perplexed, at which point Rufus explained:

"Mom can love me more than I love her because right now, she has two hearts, two souls, and two brains."

"She does?" replied Aunt Choc, "How come?"

"Because Hannah is inside her belly. She has two hearts, two souls, and two brains. Oh yeah, and she has two LOVE BOXES."

We did not ask any further questions.

The Wisdom of Rufus #57

Earlier this month, we went on the sibling tour of the hospital, so the boys could take comfort in where I will go to get my grand extraction and so that Bumpus could again wonder aloud what happened to the good ol' days, when the men got to go to the bar, watch football, and drink whilst awaiting arrivial of their loin fruit.

There we were, in front of the big glass nursery window, all the little girls and boys lined up on the steps that allow those-under-three-feet-tall to see the babies. All the parents with their backs against the opposite wall, watching said siblings and pondering the fact that OH MY GOD THIS MEANS I HAVE TO COME GET THIS THING OUT OF ME.

General quiet as children look into the window and parents watch.

Rufus, the only voice he knows, which is slightly quieter than a jet engine: "Is this where we get the fried chicken?"

General assortment of parents: Laughter.

Other small children: More silence, while staring in awe and wonder at the miracles of life thus contained within said window.

Rufus: "LOOK MAMA! Way in the back! They got a HAMSTER CAGE!"

Comment from laughing father somewhere in the crowd: "Oh lord, I hope his mother is getting this on video tape."

She of the Turkducken Speaks:Updates from the Land of the Fertile

Warning to all Small Planets:
It Has Its Own Graveetashunul Pull
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Three weeks to go. I have saved up a lot of commentary, so get yourself a fresh dose of something al-kee-hollic and be proud that these details will live forever in the world of my public posterity.

The tapeworm, named "The Boy Who Lived" for his Darwinian ability to eat his siblings in an effort to promote his own survival, grew to be an inch long, developed some sort of genitalia, and then promptly died. It was plenty big enough to see its beady eyes staring at all lookers-on as if to say, "See what life is worth without a woman?"

All sweet wonderful people in life constantly ask me--sometimes on an hourly basis--how I feel. My latest response, "Like a giant Turkducken." This may be her nickname. Fits nicely with the others: please meet my lovely children, Boudreaux, Rufus, and Turducken. I swear someone stuffed a fully grown Butterball down my throat when I was asleep. She is all elbows and knees and is both plenty way up into my rib cage and bouncing gleefully on my bladder. Unless I lean back, I cannot sit on a hard surface without spreading my knees way apart in a way that my Mama taught me was just asking for trouble.

Maternity clothes suck. The ones that go over the belly end up giving one a camel toe (see previous posting), and the ones that sit under the belly constantly fall down, risking the chance of exposing the belly to unwitting passersby, like a drunken potbellied town nuisance. I wonder if they give out citations for this.

I am fully in waddle mode, especially at home. At work, I put all my physical effort into standing up straight and walking properly. This, along with hours spent sitting on my constantly broadening butt, means that by the evening I am exhausted and my back is hurting from the exertion. Therefore, the waddling is rather pronounced in the privacy of my own ass-eye-lum. This, of course, used to startle and concern Bumpus. But he has now gotten used to my swaying gate, as well as to my pajama pants falling down at random times (draw string failure).

The boys want nothing more than for me to get into the swimming pool with them. And yes, Mama, I have done it. I have squeezed my round belly into a swim suit and chunky dunked into that above-ground Wal-mart special several times. It ain't pretty but it gets all the weight off of my swollen ankles. Just be glad I'm not at the boatin' club, doing it in public.

Two days left of going into work...and then I will be free to sit in my pajamas, eat ice cream, and wait wait wait wait wait!

The Graduate

The Graduate
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Boudreaux somehow escaped the whole "dress em up like adults and give em a blank sheet of paper with a ribbon around it" graduation fandango, both at the end of pre-k and at the end of kindergarten. So I wasn't all hyped up about Rufus donning the mortar board, thinking that some rousing rendition of "The Animals Come in Twosies" would be a plenty gay enough way of finishing his summa cum laude three years of prep school.

Of course, then the raging hormones kicked in and I cried like a little baby.

Look at that FINE FELLOW, with his high-and-tight Corps hair cut and his "I'm off to the corporate world" expression! Damn boy! Go out and get a JOB so you can send home some money to Mamma!

1-888-MAKE-BAIL

1-888-MAKE-BAIL
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Every East Texus family needs a lawyer waiting in the wings, to help with those little problems in life...everything from traffic tickets to questionable behavior involving cats.

Boudreaux did us a fine, fine job prosecutin that damn trespasser Gold E. Locks. Despite the fact that the jury had a nice long nap during the proceedings, they still found in his favor and voted to send that little bimbo off to the hooscow.

Notice the tie. After the trial, Bumpus put that right back on his neck and headed off to work.

Outstanding in the Field

Outstanding in the Field
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

What is he screaming? God only knows.

Wanna Play Doctor?

Welcome to General Hospital
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Thank you Aunt Carrie for the awesome Golden Beaver scrubs! Now we need to learn the Golden Beaver fight song...

The Latest Pet at Fatty's House

Tapeworm...
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Just thought all you wildlife ee-fishy-nados out there might like to see what hatched at our house. Forget the Sea Monkeys of the liberated '70s. This here is called a "Triops," purchased at Hobby Lobby, picked right from the little temptation booth next to the check out, next to the white chocolate Reese's, the masking tape, and the glitter pens. Kit came with eggs, food, and directions for starting our own farm. Said that these guys hail all the way back to the age of the dinosaurs. That didn't surprise me...every body needs a good tapeworm.

The Wisdom of Rufus #428

Rufus:
"I know how to say the pledge of allegiance."

Fatty:
"Oh really? Well, you go right ahead."

Rufus:
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of George Bush!"

The Wisdom of Rufus #426, Parts A & B

Announced as we sat down to dinner this evening:

"We need less talking and more praying!"

Snapped two minutes later at his brother (who was, admittedly, pushing Rufus's buttons):

"Shut your dirty pie hole."

With varying degrees of hormonal influence, our family can turn on a dime!

Lucy sez it B time 2 jump ship 4 peace in TX

Lucy is in her bag, ready to roll .....
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

As U kan planely C, Lucy P. shares yo mama's need to escape and Go West. The Kaptin B pretty up-tite that we B leaving so the sooner the better. She sittin in her bag waitin for a zip up.

Yo Mama wishes she had a bag 2.

Future Pres/CEO of HJC Co as per her mother

would you buy a boat from this boat magnate?
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Here she is, in her $100 mini skirt with tummy views. Enough said.

Yo Mama is headin UR way ASAP

Let the Fat Lady SING!

Players
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Ain't they precious?

Wisdom of Rufus #422:

(Yelled from the Rufus in center field over the to right fielder who was complaining about being bored and not fielding any balls during the inning...)

"It's not about getting a bunch of ball action! It's all about playing the game and having fun. That's the spirit of baseball!"

All that he needed to do was add "you stupid domp!" on the end, and I would have been super-ultra proud.

I wuz even gonna let him use my mug

It don't take a genius ....
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Well it has hit the fan at this casa.
The Kaptin desided he wuz tired tired tired of solitaire and he wood play Yo Mama's privat game that I B hidin frum him and woodn let him C. Aint't that the s---s! N E Way, I done put Snood on his puter and got it free with my pass code and dialed up Easy-Children-Stage-1-Not-Hard. He went nuts, kaint make that little box go where it outta B, must be sumthin wrong with his puter cause it aint a Dell like mine.

Send help. Like meybe Jack? He dun taught The Kaptin to fish, meybe he cud give a few pointers bout this lil problem we got now.

All that and IRS Day at the same time, it jes B 2 much for one elderly woman.

Un huevo cada dia es muy bien

Things Ain't Always What They Seem
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yo Mama's EG does not contain choc as a sweet gift to Yo Mama. It got sum-thin better, not my percoset but N-sted it B peppermint schnapps. U think the Kaptain will wunder bout my sudden luv of eggs?

Yo Mama jes passin on the news of today

See Why I Should Be Drinking Beer?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Cameltoe Bunderpanties?

I just checked our site meter, and we were "discovered" through people doing the following searches...

"Cameltoe Bunderpanties"
"Bugger Eaters" (AUNT CHOC's POST CAME IN FIRST PLACE! YEE-HAW!)
"Toot a lot" (Is that a reference to you, Mama?)
"Chubby Mama"
"Pictures with no pants on" (YIKES!)

Comments from the Incontinent Rednek

Food obsession for the week:
Watermelon

(Don't gasp...last week it was Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs, so this is a major step forward.)

Latest Nickname for the Seamus, the New Cat:
"Hebbie," slang for "H.E.B.," since he has a Harry-ass Butt

Wisdom of Rufus #411:
(Screamed at me on the courthouse lawn as he was running by in a frenzy of egg collecting today...)
"MOTHER! THE CHOCOLATE INSIDE THE EGGS SYMBOLIZES GOD'S SWEET LOVE FOR YOU!"

Yes, he really calls me "Mother" instead of "Mama" right now. Yes, he used the word "symbolizes." Yes, other parents turned to beam at me with pride in my son's advanced brainwashing status. No, I did not yell "MIND YOUR OWN F'IN BA-HAI BUSINESS YE REDNEKS!" in response.

Dysoning Adventure for the Week:
Extracting 8 years of filth out of a Honda Accord, using that motorized hand-brush "Animal" thing in the process.

My neighbor came outside and said, "Awww...look at you with your late-pregnancy nesting instinct." Of course, she didn't understand when I muttered, "I'm just a Dysonite looking for something to suck."

Pet Peeve of the Week (and the coming weeks):
No one looks me in the eye when talking to me anymore. They look at my protruding fundus instead.

Honestly, on Monday FIVE people at my special school said good morning to me without looking at my face! I want to yell, "YES! WE DID IT AND WE DID IT A LOT!" but instead, I guess I will just feel like I know how Pamela Anderson feels, except with her, it's bodacious, inflated ta-ta's. Today at the Dollar Store, the lady who works there yelled (while looking me in the belly, not the eye), "How long have you been waddling like that? And why didn't I realize it sooner since you're in here all the time?" Good god, that was so much to address that I had a deer-in-the-headlights moment.

Hey Dolly Parton of the Sunshine State...did you stuff your bra for the party?

Hey Cat Crap...where's the dirt bag?

East Texus Dyson Update

Monday:
Dyson arrived.
Total Dysoning Time: 30 minutes
Total Dirty Collected: 4 Cylinders

Tuesday:
First T-Ball Practice
Total Dysoning Time: 0 minutes

Wednesday:
Bidness Dinner with Bumpus
Total Dysoning Time: 0 minutes
Frustration Level: Elevated

Thursday:
Finally, A Fix!
Total Dysoning Time: 1 hour, 15 minutes
Total Dirty Collected: 3 Cylinders
New Skills:
Figured out the bare floor tool (set it for carpet so it doesn't suction itself to the floor).
Surprise of the Day:
Was stunned by how much hair and crusty crap collects where the carpets meet the base boards.
Momentary Struggle:
Sucked half my pajama pants up into the suction wand. Had to perform complex wrestling moves to get myself removed without turning off power.

Yes, I plan to obsess over this until the enormous amounts of sand stop flying forth from my carpet. It took four years to get into this condition...how many obsessive nights with Dyson will it take to come undone?

Reality Check: Remember, if I could drink beer, I probably wouldn't be doing this...

Himself, With Poorly Managed Coif(Don't ask)

Himself. And He Shall Be Called "Seamus"
(pronounced Shamus...because it's real close to "Shame on us")
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Kaptain in his little with big un behind

Kaptain in his little with big un behind
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Don't take much 2 keep him happie. Jes put him in 1 boat that fits on the bak of his other boat, lots of sunshine 'n a head that works and he is a happie man. Life is good 4 the Kaptain. This a.m. he ate philadelphia cream cheese mixed with real juicy chopped pimentos from a jar and six (6) pieces of bread, cut in half, makes 12. He is on a diet.

Yo Mama wunders what the diet is.

Check out the Dirty

Check out the Dirty
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

So first I vacuum the living room carpet with my old Eureka. Then I used my wonder-machine-greenie-weenie. And look what came up. About two cups of dirty and enough hair to crochet that fat lady on HeeHaw a bikini.

That's what four people, a slobberin' chuck roast, and three hairy cats will get you. Holy COW I love my new vacuum!!!!!

A Riddle

The Best Appliance Ever...Until I Get a 'Rita Machine
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

What's green, makes loud noises, swirls round and round, and makes Fatty very happy?

No, it's not a margarita machine. It's a vacuum, dammit.

This is my new Dyson, purchased at a very fine rate off of Overstock.com. When I checked out an extra 10% was taken off the price as well as free shipping, making the thing just about affordable. As my post above illustrates, this is probably the best household appliance I have ever done bought! Thank you President George W. Bush for that mighty fine tax return! Now please do something about the frickin' gas prices!

Fatty Gets Fattier and Fattier

Yes, She is in There
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Six months and no cold beer. This SUCKS! When I finally can drink, I may have an over-consumption issue. Of course, the good thing is that, after 9 long dry months, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet.

This picture is for you, Mama, and you, Aunt Choc...just to prove that the belly is really expanding. She is about 15 inches long and weighs a little over two pounds by now (that's the average, not particular to just her). My belly button has not poked out yet, but you know I will post the lovely news when that happens.

I have a little listening device thing that lets me hear her heart beat, and we can now feel little elbows and feet through my skin, as well as her back, head, and booty. The boys asked what she was wearing in there, and when I told them she is nekked, they both thought that was very funny.

Rufus says he's going to teach her everything he knows.

I is overcome by grief and wunderin

Yo Mama Has Taken to her Bed
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Oh Where, Oh Where have my girlies gone? Now that "the atmosphere here has changed" and I now have real good internet connect, I got nuthin new 2 look at. PLS send news that will keep Yo Mama up to date in the loop.

Yo Mama is lonely and homesickness

can this be too much of a good thing?

TMI perhaps
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Iffin the first kodak moment got ya rite in the heart, jes check out this un....Yo Mama has saved the heart shape sparkled glasses for prosperity in hopes Katie and Hannah mite want to put on a costume and go to the ball as Yo Mama. When Yo Mama has gotten lotsa praise and complements meybe she will move on with her life.

In the meantime, I'm thinkin blond again.

Let the Nesting Begin!

Fuzzy Head
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Thank you, Aunt Choc, for helping me understand that two needles is too dangerous fer a kuntry gal lahk me. Thanks to my 35 granny squares, I have gotten a bit of the hang of crocheting, and I made this infant cap for #3. The fuzzy yarn in the middle was my own creative touch, which reminded me of our favorite 14 year old.

See what two days of subfreezing weather in a state park will getchya?

It Wuz a Partie to Remeber

Oh Where Did The College Days Go !!
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

There she is, the Mama of the blond who showed up in the blog rite recent. The kaptain thot he was big stuff all dressed up like Kenny Rogers, even wore his ole bluejeans with a hole in 'em. He thot his hare looked kinda girlie but I tole him it was mitey fine. Wunder what Katie b thinkin bout my fancy handbag. Got some fancie eye glasses but note they ain't in this picture, will send it later. Gotta go to a fancy blacktie hoopla tonite and Kenny wants 2 wear his jeans and tie. Meybe we kan git thrown out, hopin so.

Yo Mama is alive and kickin

PTL!!!

The spirit is alive in us!

The Wisdom of Rufus #305

"Even though all the girls chase me at school, I know the fact:
No kisses from girls...I'm savin' 'em all for the WOMAN."

And yes, the woman is his mother!

PS to Aunt Choc: Somehow, blogger won't let me comment on your post below. But I have gotten several teary-eyed sessions of laughter out of that photo.