East Texus Dyson Update

Monday:
Dyson arrived.
Total Dysoning Time: 30 minutes
Total Dirty Collected: 4 Cylinders

Tuesday:
First T-Ball Practice
Total Dysoning Time: 0 minutes

Wednesday:
Bidness Dinner with Bumpus
Total Dysoning Time: 0 minutes
Frustration Level: Elevated

Thursday:
Finally, A Fix!
Total Dysoning Time: 1 hour, 15 minutes
Total Dirty Collected: 3 Cylinders
New Skills:
Figured out the bare floor tool (set it for carpet so it doesn't suction itself to the floor).
Surprise of the Day:
Was stunned by how much hair and crusty crap collects where the carpets meet the base boards.
Momentary Struggle:
Sucked half my pajama pants up into the suction wand. Had to perform complex wrestling moves to get myself removed without turning off power.

Yes, I plan to obsess over this until the enormous amounts of sand stop flying forth from my carpet. It took four years to get into this condition...how many obsessive nights with Dyson will it take to come undone?

Reality Check: Remember, if I could drink beer, I probably wouldn't be doing this...

Himself, With Poorly Managed Coif(Don't ask)

Himself. And He Shall Be Called "Seamus"
(pronounced Shamus...because it's real close to "Shame on us")
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Kaptain in his little with big un behind

Kaptain in his little with big un behind
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Don't take much 2 keep him happie. Jes put him in 1 boat that fits on the bak of his other boat, lots of sunshine 'n a head that works and he is a happie man. Life is good 4 the Kaptain. This a.m. he ate philadelphia cream cheese mixed with real juicy chopped pimentos from a jar and six (6) pieces of bread, cut in half, makes 12. He is on a diet.

Yo Mama wunders what the diet is.

Check out the Dirty

Check out the Dirty
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

So first I vacuum the living room carpet with my old Eureka. Then I used my wonder-machine-greenie-weenie. And look what came up. About two cups of dirty and enough hair to crochet that fat lady on HeeHaw a bikini.

That's what four people, a slobberin' chuck roast, and three hairy cats will get you. Holy COW I love my new vacuum!!!!!

A Riddle

The Best Appliance Ever...Until I Get a 'Rita Machine
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

What's green, makes loud noises, swirls round and round, and makes Fatty very happy?

No, it's not a margarita machine. It's a vacuum, dammit.

This is my new Dyson, purchased at a very fine rate off of Overstock.com. When I checked out an extra 10% was taken off the price as well as free shipping, making the thing just about affordable. As my post above illustrates, this is probably the best household appliance I have ever done bought! Thank you President George W. Bush for that mighty fine tax return! Now please do something about the frickin' gas prices!

Fatty Gets Fattier and Fattier

Yes, She is in There
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Six months and no cold beer. This SUCKS! When I finally can drink, I may have an over-consumption issue. Of course, the good thing is that, after 9 long dry months, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet.

This picture is for you, Mama, and you, Aunt Choc...just to prove that the belly is really expanding. She is about 15 inches long and weighs a little over two pounds by now (that's the average, not particular to just her). My belly button has not poked out yet, but you know I will post the lovely news when that happens.

I have a little listening device thing that lets me hear her heart beat, and we can now feel little elbows and feet through my skin, as well as her back, head, and booty. The boys asked what she was wearing in there, and when I told them she is nekked, they both thought that was very funny.

Rufus says he's going to teach her everything he knows.

I is overcome by grief and wunderin

Yo Mama Has Taken to her Bed
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Oh Where, Oh Where have my girlies gone? Now that "the atmosphere here has changed" and I now have real good internet connect, I got nuthin new 2 look at. PLS send news that will keep Yo Mama up to date in the loop.

Yo Mama is lonely and homesickness

can this be too much of a good thing?

TMI perhaps
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Iffin the first kodak moment got ya rite in the heart, jes check out this un....Yo Mama has saved the heart shape sparkled glasses for prosperity in hopes Katie and Hannah mite want to put on a costume and go to the ball as Yo Mama. When Yo Mama has gotten lotsa praise and complements meybe she will move on with her life.

In the meantime, I'm thinkin blond again.

Let the Nesting Begin!

Fuzzy Head
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

Thank you, Aunt Choc, for helping me understand that two needles is too dangerous fer a kuntry gal lahk me. Thanks to my 35 granny squares, I have gotten a bit of the hang of crocheting, and I made this infant cap for #3. The fuzzy yarn in the middle was my own creative touch, which reminded me of our favorite 14 year old.

See what two days of subfreezing weather in a state park will getchya?

It Wuz a Partie to Remeber

Oh Where Did The College Days Go !!
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

There she is, the Mama of the blond who showed up in the blog rite recent. The kaptain thot he was big stuff all dressed up like Kenny Rogers, even wore his ole bluejeans with a hole in 'em. He thot his hare looked kinda girlie but I tole him it was mitey fine. Wunder what Katie b thinkin bout my fancy handbag. Got some fancie eye glasses but note they ain't in this picture, will send it later. Gotta go to a fancy blacktie hoopla tonite and Kenny wants 2 wear his jeans and tie. Meybe we kan git thrown out, hopin so.

Yo Mama is alive and kickin

PTL!!!

The spirit is alive in us!

The Wisdom of Rufus #305

"Even though all the girls chase me at school, I know the fact:
No kisses from girls...I'm savin' 'em all for the WOMAN."

And yes, the woman is his mother!

PS to Aunt Choc: Somehow, blogger won't let me comment on your post below. But I have gotten several teary-eyed sessions of laughter out of that photo.