
You Tell Jack That Aunt Choc is Proud of Him!!
When Jack is President of his Fraternity he needs to know that Chi-O's are much more fun that any of those other stuffy sorority girls!!!
"That's my philosophy: a hundred dollar shine and a three dollar pair of boots."
--John Winger (Bill Murray),Stripes
U no, Yo Mama tries HARD to please even mos dis-crim-n-atin tastes but sumhow it jes rarely cums up rite. Now this little offering was fixed as ordered, but GUESS WHAT! 2-much catsup. Wuz granted the golden opportunitie yestiddy to make ammends and did better. Can they fix this up at TSTC? Shore would like to send them some info and di-rections.
Cum see Yo Mama and I'll fix U 1 - 'n with it serve some WHOLE (no slices left over from peanut butter/pickle sandwishes) Mt. Olive Sweet Gerkins.
If youse relatives shud encounter the lady nown as "G" pls do not reveal that Yo Mama is a-drying unner-ware in the yard. I jes like my unner-ware dry and that machine in the hole-in-the-wall kills elastik and PTL, you gotta no that Yo Mama B needin elastik. Sides that, sunshine smells good and Yo Mama dont like smellin bad. Further more news, I do NOT care if the neibors no I wears underware. They jes have to git a grip, tend their own nittin N take me lik I am.
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Think this B all 2-day. Gotta git to M-portant things like watchin las nite Idol rendition.
Kaptain went Sunday to His Car Place cause hiz horn sounded gay and hiz head lite needed bulb and sides that, had a 2" scratch where SUMBODY encountered the fence on the way out. Came home with this lil number off the show room floor. Never did, he sed, like the color of that other one, inside or out, and sides that it had a 2" scratch and sides that had 37,000 miles and surely wuz en route to the big machine that flattens vehicles cause wuz not a good un. The point of th whole apple here is that Yo Mama gotta drive this baby to the south dock this affernoon and Woe B Unto N E Body who gets dust, rain or scratches on same.
Pray 4 Yo Mama
Them men ben gone 1 hour and 13 minutes and I gits the first call - this one bout what have I dun with them fancy binoculars (that I bought, paid for, and gived as a present). N E comments more not needed, cause I don think I wood be astealing sumthin like that do you? PTL the speaker in this event is sum miles away and is water-bound.
The Day The Boat Goes is a drama that finely gits here after bout 4 days where nothin but trauma and anxiety takes over the house-hold. Kinda days thet U best jes git in UR room and shut the door so U dont gotta lissen 2 all the goins on. like: WHERE IS THAT BLACK CORD YOU WERE HOLDING. When U aint even seen a black cord, much less holdin it. The miracle of miracles the person who STOLE it put it in the kaptains lil ditty bag. The big D-part-ure was set in stone for 9:00 but them 5 elektroniks men wuz on the boat til 10:00 N the anxiety level was HIGH. It B mitey M-portant 2 git a switch on the upstares 2 turn off the tv downstares R sum such other fool-ish-ness. Sure glad them boat drivin men don gone left 4 the south wharf, Yo Mama B needin all day to calm herself down. Whew !!
An NO, the Christmas pants R not on the boat, they is here for SumBody to iron them rinkles out.
Wunder who the ironing person be?
The Kaptain got his new Lands End Catalog and dun desided he needed sum new fancy wear. Here is what we got now, 1 couch wide and 2 cushions long. The ma-terial is the kind that rinkles rite easy so we R N 4 sum fancy bitchin. Look kinda lik court jester costume rags to me, or meybe sumthin U kud wear to a Christmas costume funcshun. Whadda U think? Meybe the father-to-be or the president-n-office wood like sum for the kamp ground?
Yo Mama is waiting 2 hear frum U so she kan start her Dec. 25 shoppin.
The Kaptain-of-the-world dun called few few minites ago and told me QUIK QUIK QUIK 2 go 2 the basket on the blue desk and git the key that sez:
17 FOOT NOUVARANIA
sence The Man was a-comin to git that boat in the drive-way and take it a-way 4 ever and ever. HURRY HURRY cause he meybe out there RITE now. So Yo Mama hobbles 2 the desk and goes thru all that junk and finded a key thet said 16 ft boat. Went outside N sure nuf man and woman a standin there. Did Not Fit Boat. R U surprised I was not. So 2 fone calls later and lotsa hollerin and carryin on, Yo Mama finded this lil number and guess what - it B the rite 1 cause it clearly sez 17 FOOT NOUVARANIA. Don't it?
Yo Mama lives in a world where muffins is biscuits and all sortsa things got names funny and unknown 2 me. Do U suppose Yo Mama is jez reachin the USELESS STAGE. Mite check with them 2 boys in Franklin and see if I B rite.
Yo Mama is tired.