My an-t-thestic of choice 2-nite

Anyone who has been 2 Scotland will no it
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

It has been one-hella-day and I B proud to say I solved it all without akillin n-e-body. N-E-Body that jes sits in a chair and eats ever hour on the hour deserves 2 B dizzy. Wood make Yo Mama dizzy 4 sure. As the day wore on I jes plain got out "Ole Red", the nashunal scotch of Scotland, home of the an-cestors of John Small and family, and mixed up a few an it got me thru the p.m. It now B 7:42 in the p.m. and I'm a takin to my bed, I have fixed and served my last meal of the day and dam sure washed my last dish of the Halloween occashun. N-E body that eats all day long, servet to him cause he be dizzzzzzzzzzzy 'n kaint git up to git his plate desrves to B dizzy. Iffin Yo Mama had stashed away the number of meals 2-day that SumBody has I would be rollin on the floor unable to git up due to overload.

Do U think it B o.k. that Yo Mama reached for the Famous Grouse to kill her ills? I B hopein so.

The Kaptain gonna catch flies in his mouth

He jes full of info and instructions
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

The Kaptain feelin badly 'n I B real sorrey but I kaint help it if he be cold and dizzy. Got no a/c agoin on the water trailer, got his blankey out, sleepin in his big fancy leather chair givin me n-structions on what 2 do and how 2 do it. So I jes started amoving bak into the tenement house and got the a/c backed down. What's Yo Mama 2 do? Both refrigerators on the boat done built up 2" ice, the little refrigerator/ice maker had a pepsi x-plode in the nite and it took me bout haf an hour to clean that mess up.

Got n-e idears for Yo Mama?

He new when he went what wuz a-waitin him

He wuz cold and needed work to do
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yesseree, that kaptain did this same job a year ago and we wuz sure he cut the darn thing so short it never wood grow no more. But jes lookit what happen in on-lee 1 year. What a brave man that kaptain is. He had new gloves and a cuttin tool too and just dove in head lst 2 git it done. He even had brung his workin clothes so as to save his good sweater to go eat them enchiladas and tacos.

Yo Mama sez that kaptain is a good man, doncha think so?

Just bustin with pride 4 a job well dun

Hot and sweaty now but mitey proud
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Jes lookit that kaptain, he just bustin with being proud of what he done did. Not only did he do all that cuttin and desision makin but U also mite notice all the trash B gone and he ain't even got a pickup truk to hall it a-way in.

Iffin U need a hedge cut back jes let Yo Mama no and she B sending the man 4 the job 2 ur place.

Better think B-4 U say sumthin

Texas football is serious business
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Out thar in the western end of the great state of TX U gotta B a futball fan R else U R no-body. An that ain't all, U better B redy to stand behindt eny smart r dumb remarks U make cause them folks got big ears 'n hear most everthing you say or think bout them.
Now this feller with the shirt on wuz about 6'4" tall and he be a prime x-ample of sumbody U don't wanna meet in a dark alley or have followin U home after a futball game.

Yo Mama wants to know if you R a fan?

Only a MAN would park under a palm tree

Wunder iffin he had a headache .....
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Musta been --- seem he wood've finded
nother place to park 4 hurricane cumin.
Whadda you think? Yo Mama thinkin next time
he have gas, water, ice, beer and a better parkin place.

U a-gree with Yo Mama's deep thoughts?

Jes Nuthin Like a Little Tropical Yard Scene

The Afternoon Before Wilma
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Whatta prettie view Yo Mama had frum
her kitchen winder (when there ain't no
metal roofing a-coverin it). Nise nuf to have a picnic dinner and ask sumbody one likes to cum over an sit a spell.

Wood U like to have some pepperming stuff with Yo Mama?

A-seeing is believing, PTL

After Wilma
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Not a pretty pikture in Yo Mama's
side yard n-e-more. Jes ain't where
I mite like to take some joy juice 'n
sit outside with that dog-girl.

Do you wanna come sit with Mama?

Parking - small fee - 4 those in need

Wunder how many I can squeeze in
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

I B guessin that by now you figgered we got a hurry-cane abearing down on us and Yo Mama is plenty bored cause we been redy and locked up in the cave for days and days. But now, since I ain't screwed n-2 the house I gotta fine idear, wunder if I kan rent the front yard for east-side-not-windy-side parking? Storm supposed to blow thru here real fast tomorrow, them vehicles woodn't b on the grass long nuf to kill it, mite pick up a little cash 2 do some birthday shoppin for that Rufus next week. I figger I kan git 5 cars acrost and 2 deep. Kaint charge The Kaptain cause he likes tamales, but 5 more trucks or sumthin @ bout 10.00 would be a tidy mite bit.

Wanna drive on over to Yo Mama's house?

I Am Redy 4 The Comin Holler-day

Happy Birthday Jack 'O Lantern
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yep, havin Halloween and Birthday on the same day R almost scary, so Yo Mama d-sided to pre-pare early this yr.
I jes kud-not d-side what 2 git the boy 4 his speshal day so I called him on the bell phone and we d-sided 2-gether what he needed more 'n enything. Now that B taken care of 'n I kin move on to tuther issue. For the halloween party I gonna greet my frends 'n nabors at the door an demo eating tree frogs. Mebe the word will git round the naborhood quick and them yung-uns wont kum here and Yo Mama kin eat all that junk kandy herself. The Kaptain don't eat junk food, he ain't no fun. He jes likes chocolate milk (fat free) and lil bits 'n pieces of nuthin. Wunder if tree frogs change color like lizards?

Yo Mama has a active mind and thinks bout important things all the time.

Welkom Home Fatty where talk is cheap

Only In the U.S. of A. kan U wear this
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Yo Mama is overjoyet that U 3 people B home agin. G-Lady seys U ain't been gone very long since U went round the world. I think U been gone, but not forgotten, 4-ever. Me and The Kaptain jes sittin here awaiting the storm that meybe ain't as bad as he thinks it mite be. We all boarded up cept the frunt door and at early meal 2-day with friends he tried to git sumbody to cum and screw in a board over the frunt door. I said NO WAY is n-e-body a-screwin me n-2 n-E house. So, we B going "UNPROTECTED" cept the Kaptain is now a-gonna drive his car cross the grass and rite up 2 the frunt door, jes hope I can entrance and exit at will. WHEW, sur will be glad when Wilda goes by, write me SOON and send some pics of the Big Trip. I B gittin awful bored sittin here in the dark.

Yo Mama awaitin 2 here frum U and URs

We B Livin in a Dark Cave

Like the world ended cept us
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Wunder what the everbody else is adoin.
Suppose there still be cars and movies
and things like grocerie stores. This been goin on all week now, awaiting that hurry-cane to git off my Cancun and Isla Mujeres and leave 'em B. Fraid they mite never B the same. In the meantime the Captain and Yo Mama been jes sittin here a-sneezing and blowing with airplane illness and the tv B agoin saying nuthin but board up, buy gas, git water. I done all that. Now what do they want us 2 do. Mitey tired of sitting here. Dog is too.

Any ideas for Yo Mama? (no smarty answers allowed)

Kaint See Nuthin

Wunder what time it is
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

Looks the same out the back door as the front one - all U kan C is tin that outta B on a roof sumwhere. I think we getting all grey in the skin 2. Wunder what the rest of the world B doin while we doing this.

Yo Mama jes lost all ambition cept eating, wanna kum on over?

SO ROUND, SO FIRM, SO FULLY PACKED

I WUZ THERE & SAW IT BORN
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

I wuz jes a standin there and lo and beholdt here cummed a lil pooper outta thet new fangled machine that cat crap dun bought on Ebay. Whatta miracle of life it wuz. We jes stood there in awe of what had transpired. Iffin you wanna see this miracle of birth 2, all U gotta do is get ur act together and acquire one-a these miracle machines.

UR Mama is atellin it like it wuz

LO THERE WUZ A RAW TAMALE AMONG US

Most Perfect Tamale 4 YOU
Originally uploaded by Annie Kaint Work No Mo.

U Tamale Lovers jes gotta admire the work of art shown in this photo op. It B jest about the most perfect tamale ever created. I jes wunder who got 2 eat this-un. We done made 84 them little miracles. Cudda made more but jes couldn't wait n-e longer to git 2 eatin. Iffin U need more information on this deal jes call or email cat crap and she'll lay it on U.

Yo Mama is so proud to have been there 4 the inaugural presentation, wished 4 you all 2 join us.

Here She Is!!!!!

Alley Reeser


Thanks to the discriminating policies of a certain airline, Mimi and Hal were unable to take home this little bundle of fur. Fortunately we have a very understanding and accomodating Daddy at our house and, after he made me slice open my finger and write "This is the last cat" on the wall in blood 100 times, we became the lucky family of this sweet little baby we have named "Alley" (as in Alley Cat since that is where we found her). She has been to see the vet and had her toes severed and her female organs yanked out and now she another happy feline in the Reeser home.

I AM WAITING ON PHOTOS OF THE CAT AND THE IN-OG-RALL TAMALE FEST.

Overheard at the 7:45 Warm Up Session

Good Game, You DOMPS
Originally uploaded by Fatty Will Rule the World!.

After a careful dribble and slammin' big kick, the ball Rufus kicked rolled right in between the goalie's feet and into the net. At which point, Rufus turned to the sideline full of parents, cupped his mouth for extra effect, spotted my smiling face, and screamed "MAMA! DID YOU SEE! I JUST KICKED IT RIGHT UNDER THE GOALIE'S PRIVATES!"

A House is Not a Home Without a Cat

Although most of us realize that this is the TRUTH, some in the family had yet to embrace a warm and fuzzy creature feline creature of their own. That is, until tonight when, while visiting us for dinner, they came to be acquainted with a small calico kitten that apparantly has been abandoned in the alley (with its three brothers/sisters). Last seen, these family members (who will remain unidentified for their own protection) were headed back to their little casita with litter box and baggie of food in hand to introduce "Sweety" (aka Eula Mae) to her sister "Lucy". We are all waiting with baited breath to see if Lucy will accept Sweety into the household and therefore allow her to share her flowered traveling pouch for the plane trip back to Florida.

Pictures to follow tomorrow.........

Seek and Ye Shall Find

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

Reactions:

1. THANK GOD someone has finally starting answering all my questions on this topic.
2. Do people REALLY THINK that their butt cheeks flap together?
3. I am afraid to watch the video.
4. My favorite question was "Why is it that when you scratch your ass through two layers of clothing (your underwear and your jeans) your fingers still stink?"
5. My biggest fart question of all time, about the shower, has been answered
6. Someone DOES make charcoal panties! (But fartypants.com would not open on my computer.)
7. I am so relieved that another adult finds humor in the topic and has set out to educate people like me.